Greed - What are Toys For?

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Greed is like the frog who gets used to warming water and boils his life away.

I want it!

Greed begins with simple envy - I want what you have. Imagine you are a 3 year old, playing with another toddler. You enjoy beating your drum. But your playmate is squealing with delight shaking his tambourine. You think, "He's happier than me with his toy. I want it" and you grab it away. It doesn't bother that he is protesting or unhappy. You play with the tambourine a little then hide it away. You think, "What else does he have"? You have forgotten your own toy.

Soon, you are deluged by the media with toys, gadgets, and whistles that promise delirious excitement and pleasure, spending hours every day in envy. With your PC and cell come the next big thing in apps, games, adventures, the latest bling. Well-endowed friends rub it in. Along with envy comes the feeling of being left out, a sense of insecurity, the emotion of powerlessness. "More or bigger" seems to be the answer.

As a teen, as you form a sense of who you are, you may feel you are nothing at all without the right clothes, music, cell phone, events, travels, wheels, friends and followers. The American dream haunts you of "having it all". Fear and anger can be added to your envy and insecurity, if you feel you are not making it.

To your relief, you seem to find a way. The problem is, there is always someone who has more than you and raises envy to a pain. You may then get caught up in a way of life called greed, where you have forgotten how to play, and either store  your toys away, or display them for others to envy.

The bigger picture is a world of rich and poor, of tribal struggle, or corporate lords and impoverished workers, power-driven politicos and disempowered citizens, greedy dictators and the forgotten.

Yet, most toddlers learn to share, to try out toys, and return to the toys they like best. In time, they play what they most enjoy and learn the skills and sharing that goes with them. Further on, they learn what are their lasting satisfactions and gives most meaning in their lives. Rather than greed, they learn gratitude for all that life gives them.

It's always a good time to jump out the heating water and into you own kind of pool.

 About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Afraid of Happiness? Barf!

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Two recent studies (Joshanloo and Gilbert) claim to show that feeling good is what scares some people, as measured in 14 different cultures. These findings need clarification, before they go viral, or something worse.

First, the items of their test more accurately describe a "fear of being disappointed". Two of the items are, "My good feelings never last" and "If you feel good, you let your guard down".

Second, "Happiness" is never defined. This is surprising since the psych literature is rife with attempts to define happiness, from plainly sensual delights to lasting satisfactions.

Common sense tells you that if you try to be happy with bling or the latest thing, the satisfaction won't last long. The same for sheer thrills. The point is that in lumping all such satisfactions under Happiness, guarantees that many will distrust and fear quickly passing satisfactions, while doing no justice to the lasting ones.

My solution for my clients who want to clarify what makes them happy is my Personal Fulfillment Survey. I truly feel I don't know what motivates them until I tune into what they love and gives meaning to their lives.

Here is the major outline of the Personal Fulfillment Survey:

All kinds

• Thrills and impulses
• Sensual delights
• Simple pleasures
• Addictions
• Satisfying duties
• Basic needs
• Looking good
• Vital interests
• Enduring satisfactions
• What gives most meaning

So, kick up your heels, gaze out the window, take the time to reflect on your own experience, and see how you would survey your own world of happiness. I wish you the courage to do this, too.

At least you won't be prey to ideas like "afraid of happiness".  Any comment?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Emotions Co-Rule!

Unfeeling

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

We are incapable of making a decision and taking action on it without our emotions to energize and guide us. No? Listen to this:

Damazio, a leading neuroscientist,  (1994) reported his subject, "Elliot", had a non-malignant tumor removed from the prefrontal cortex area of his brain. In the process, some white cortical matter was moved from his right prefrontal cortex, the area that connects the upper, reasoning part of the brain with the lower emotional centers. That's all.

 

Damazio noticed that Elliot was unusually "calm and restrained" and showed no range of emotion. When Elliot returned to his work as a successful manager, he could not carry out the simplest tasks. He was able to communicate well, recall his work, form plans, but not carry out a single step, even to make a phone call. He got involved in repetitious tasks and readings. He couldn't do a task when expected and was fired. He continued to make bad decisions, lost all his money, remarried and redivorced, and drifted, impoverished.

Elliot performed at the superior level of intelligence on the IQ test. In several other tests, all his abilities were at least normal or above: immediate memory, language comprehension, facial perception, attention, working memory and even ethical, financial and social problem-solving. At the end of one session, Elliot commented "And after all this, I still wouldn't know what to do".

Damazio explains: neurologically, reason and emotion intersect in the prefrontal cortex and amygdala. These areas affect movement, emotion and attention. Damage causes "a virtual suspension of the animation of action and of thought process". He explains further that the modern, higher functions of the brain evolved out of the lower, emotional circuits, so that goodness and badness of situations is signaled to the higher centers. Those who lack the feeling of an emotion lack the energy and direction of the emotion. The feeling of an emotions combines an appraisal of the situation, a disposition to act in a certain way, and energy to do it.

Damazio is not alone; he cites four other sources.  Panksepp (2012) also documents the integration of emotion and thought in neurological terms and concludes that emotion is central to human behavior and psychiatric disorders. Scientists are slow to recognize that curiosity is a basic emotion, as well as a function of our cortex.

The mood of chronic boredom, lasting for months or longer, is seen as an absence of feeling and emotion. Those so lost in boredom also have an almost total incapacity to make decisions and act.

There you have it. What are your thoughts on the centrality of emotions to our lives?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

A Lump of Pain with Your Tea?

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

What did the Tea party get out of its government shutdown? When Obamacare was off the table, there was no other demand. Even after the reopening, Ted Cruz was smiling – for what?

Don’t call it crazy or wacky. Don’t surrender your understanding. Look at the emotion.

Joe Bageant (2007) can tell us where they are coming from. He is a journalist who, after 30 years, returned to his hometown in Appalachia to find his roots. He found things the same, but more run down: rickety bungalows, low-rent supermarkets, shabby churches, and secondhand trucks – a picture “painted by Edward Hopper”. Looking closer, he saw an ever-hardened, brutal life: mill and factory work, overtime if you’re lucky, rent until you die, Bud Light for consolation. Even closer, he saw his people “overweight, bad teeth, cheap clothing, and looking as though they’ve been shot at and missed”.

Deeper, Bageant saw disillusionment and life without much hope. Parents taught you to avoid education and expect disappointment. “Your dreams are bullshit; go get a job”.  Your strength is toughness and endurance, and lazy is the worst a person can be. He saw much anger and fear underneath, from the insults of employers and the elite. “It comes down to gumption” and doing without. Being given to weakens you and steals your strength. Fulfillment is a trick. A gift is not comprehensible.

Hoffer (1951) also saw the working poor, as a longshoreman. He felt the insecure and oppressed see themselves as unworthy and angry at the world. He saw the greater the disappointment in themselves, the greater the hatred. “Passionate hatred can give meaning to an empty life”. In the extreme, he felt that “a spoiled life” leads to joining extreme causes that promise redemption or joining a “brotherhood of the righteous”. The True Believer despises the “soft, selfish, pleasure-seeking” way. To Hoffer, their failure in everyday affairs makes them “take satisfaction in chaos”, as it ruins the satisfaction of others. To mask their failure, they deprecate the present, like to make believe, are naïve, and ready to attempt the impossible. Their doctrine give them power, not from making sense, but from certitude.

In emotional terms, having others feel your pain, your disillusionment, is a form of satisfaction. Schadenfreude, or pleasure from the misfortune of others, has been found associated with envy. So “now you know how we feel” not only gives comfort, but seems to be a form of justice.

Can you now imagine the satisfaction the Tea Party got in denying comfort, security, order, fulfillment to the rest of us? Are you smiling yet?

About Dr. Raynard Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broadrange of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety andphobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

America, the Bloatiful

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Americans have the least savings and greatest debt of any nation in world history.

We have the highest amount of imported manufactured or finished goods in history.
We lead the world in both the exportation of debt and basic commodities.
We have the largest cars, homes and waists of any developed nation.
We have the highest consumption of prescription drugs per capita in the world.
We have the highest rate and amount of incarceration and related expense.
We have the highest cost of health care in the world, along with least covered lives.
We have the largest amount of excess household goods in storage in the world.
We have the largest, most expensive military in the world, than all others together.
We have the largest percentage of single-parent families in the world.
We have the greatest gambling resources and gambling habit in the world..
We have the most expensive education system with some of the poorest results.
We have the most billionaires in the world, and greatest gap between rich and poor in history.
We work the longest hours, with least time off, of any developed country.

 We are a spectacular third world country, in both poverty and extreme wealth.

As much as the wealthy cannot count on educated, healthy workers, workers cannot count on the investment and resources of the rich.
In this financial crash, we see that extreme poverty impoverishes the rich, and that the extreme rich impoverishes the poor.

 Are we ready to grow up and mature as a nation and seek balance, rather than extremes?

A balance of regulation of all markets with free enterprise?

A balance of universal health insurance with cost savings and good care?
A balance of healthy life style with necessary medical intervention?
A balancing of critical thinking in education with preparation for a career?
A balance of incarceration with prevention and rehabilitation?
A balance of knowledge of others with knowledge of self?
A balance of basic material goods with personal fulfillment?
A balance of privacy needs with social needs and obligations?
A balance of national security with constitutional freedoms?
A balance of risk and profit in our financial instruments?
A balance between poverty and oppression and riches and greed?

 For our shared greed, who will show the way?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Face Train - no Face Book

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Look! There goes FaceTrain rushing by, with people waving, pictures against the window, people going to and from places, banners flying.  We smile or wave back and off they go.  Some are the familiar faces of family and friends, others are unfamiliar or very strange.  All goes by with a silent roar.

FaceTrain

Hardly a connection - more like being left behind.

Wait, it seems like there is a Depot where I can see more personal effects:  a little bio, other traces, but no one is ever there.  At the Depot, I can even find a Timeline of places someone has been to, even some anecdotes, like a travel log.  The train roars on.

I look to the rule book: how to make a connection, or what used to be called a relationship.  Can I get beyond a smile, a wave, a yell?  The rules tell me I can block out, I can follow, and even leave an address for the passengers to look up.  And many more clunky rules about how the train operates - switches, stops, transfers, seating tickets - you know, rules of the road. But where do you meet? The train roars on.

How do I get their attention? I want them to read a book I wrote. I find I need all sorts of pictures, placards, bumper stickers, slogans, billboards, and lures of all kinds, so that I can get their attention as they pass by. Then, if I get "in their face" often enough, some may buy it from the vendor's cart on the train.  Maybe.  The train roars on.

Will we have a conversation?  It's mostly a roll of the dice and life opportunities.  Maybe if I am there when the train stops, or they are there where I stop. It will take a lot to get them off the train.  The train roars on.

Meanwhile, I'll just stumble on besides the tracks.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Borderlines - the Emotional Hurricanes

by Richard C. Raynard,
Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist

A "borderline personality" is a person of emotional storms that go on exhaustively all day, driving away friends and loved ones. They feel empty and helpless in the face of overwhelming anger, hurt, jealousy, rejection and more. They don't have much of a sense of who they are. And they make up about 1 in every 50 adults. Whew!

Can they be trained to slow down, reflect and resolve their emotions? Dialectical Behavior Therapy has offered skills in mindfulness (reflection), acceptance of feelings, and interpersonal effectiveness, say, in asserting yourself.

Flooded with Emotions

More can be done, according to The Purpose of Emotions, my Ebook on how to fulfill emotions rather than have them run your life. It not only redirects anger into useful assertiveness, it redirects all 14 basic emotions into fulfillment. Here are some examples, in very brief outline:


 Emotion     Relation                Purpose                 Outcome

 Fear           Threatened             Face up to threat    Freedom
 Helpless     Neglect of self        Self-care                 Self-esteem
 Sadness      Loss of love/hope   Take stock              Renewal

This is how a focus of emotions and their uniquely human purpose can be a direct, intuitive means for a person to change their self-defeating ways and create a solid sense of Self.

This is only a thumbnail sketch. You can find much more in the Ebooks on each emotion and in The Purpose of Emotions. Where I and others have used the emotional fulfillment approach, we have seen gratifying turnarounds.

More to come...

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Curiosity - When Children Used to Play

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

A lifetime ago, children in grade school played, explored, invented games and entertained themselves with no electronic media or adult push.

What next?

There were 3 recess periods: mid-morning, noontime lunch, and early afternoon. Schoolyard games were passed on for generations by the children themselves, some dating back centuries.

Everyone played Hide-and-Seek, Dodge Ball, Keep Away, Kick the Can, Ringo-Leary, Red Light and Red Rover, some games lasting for weeks. Younger kids played on the school sets: Swings, Teeters, Slides, Tetherball and Ladders. Girls had many involved games like Jacks, Skip Rope, Hopscotch, London Bridge, all with involved lyrics and chants. Boys gravitated towards Shootout Marbles, Aggies, Races, Knights on Horseback, Frisbee, Baseball balancing and daring games.

After school, the games went on outside "till the street lights come on", or new games took over like biking, hiking exploring, fishing, boating etc.

Adults helped a bit, mostly in class. Singing was usually three times a week, using the Golden Book of folk songs from all over the world, sometimes with a rhythm band or improvised instruments. Cantatas and other musical recitals were 2-3 times a year, directed by a music teacher. The arts were taught 1-2 times a week,  in water color, charcoal, crayon, silhouettes, etc. All this, in addition to the usual school subjects.

These childhood games were killed by two working parents, TV, fear of the drug scene and predators, the Media, No Child Left Behind, and video games.  A centuries-old children's game culture has been wiped out, like the American Indians.

Now extra-school activities are highly structured, expensive, parented and pressured. School itself is grim. No recess, no gym, no noon break, no in-class lunch. No FUN. Kids are rarely seen to playing the yard or streets, or even in playgrounds and parks. A trash culture roars out of TV, snaring children in envy, loneliness, need for distraction, display, attention-seeking and false maturity.

Play grows your curiosity and interests, gives you skill and confidence, prepares you both to participate and lead, and rehearses what you will love as an adult. It will take a determined effort to overcome the machine of corporate pandering, the media lure, and the made-in-Madison Avenue youth culture.

Still play can happen anytime we show our children these games, join in the fun, and turn them loose on their own.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Insecurity - The Conspiracy Trap

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Why buy into conspiracy theories?  It's the emotion of insecurity, the feeling of being ineffective and unable to take care of yourself. Powerlessness is a powerful emotion.

Insecure

The evidence is that conspiracy believers are more persuasive to those with low-self-worth and powerlessness (Swami et al, 2010).

The emotion of insecurity can team up with the frustration of anger and create cynicism.  "Nothing will work; the forces are against you". In this way the believer tries to understand why the insecurity feelings exist.

Why do insecurity feelings arise in the first place? Young and Klasko (1993) show it can be learned at home at an early age when a child is made to feel helpless or a failure. Hoffer (1953) felt that those raised in poverty and ignorance make for an especially vulnerable, insecure young adult whose life feels ineffective, or "spoiled".

Sadly. the internet supports the natural tendency to look for evidence to support what you believe. And efforts to debunk the conspiracy belief are taken to be part of the conspiracy. See the "backfire effect" of Nyham & Reiffer (2006).

A circular path develops. The believer in conspiracy theories comes to feel less in control, and this insecurity helps keep the belief alive and well. A dead end, it there ever was one.

The corporate plutocracy is a well-developed conspiracy right out in the open. Wouldn't that satisfy most conspiracy theorists?

About Dr. Raynard

Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

On the Road with Panic

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.

Why would anyone drive in the gutter and blow out 4 sets of tires in a year? Or an accountant have to draw a map and take a picture of every new town he drove into? Or an oil truck driver chain himself to his steering wheel? Or a grandmother smuggle a miniature poodle within the large sleeves of her coat when she traveled by air?

It's PANIC - that overwhelming uproar in the body of heart racing, faint, nauseous, dizzy, choking, weak and more. It is the most common emotional disorder and the most hidden at the same time. And one study found that driving phobia was the most common of all phobias!

The explanation: the sensitivities of most phobics can be found in traffic, where you have crowding, no exits, being far from home, in unfamiliar places, high noise levels, being alone,  and no one to help you.

Most phobics don't get much credence and cover up after getting little sympathy. "It's just anxiety, get over it,"  My survey of over 100 phobic clients showed the average time to seek psychological help from the first panic episode was 9 1/2 years!

Helen (pseudo) saw that driving as close to granite curbs and picking up glass, metal and all kinds of trash made no sense. But she felt rushed, crowded and not in control. She realized a blowout put her in worse trouble than before.

Progress was measured in inches as Helen gradually practiced more distance from the curb plus relaxation methods and worry control. Her very first practice was in an empty lot, learning to judge curbside distance, her husband following and encouraging.  In a few weeks, using exposure therapy, she was driving normally with little concern.

One last irony: though very common and untreated, it is a well known condition and very treatable!

Get the word out, will you?

Licensed Clinical Psychologist
About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Boredom - a Lack of Emotion!

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Boredom is painful. It's waking up and seeing nothing of yourself in the day and going to sleep later realizing that tomorrow will be the same - empty. It can happen to the nicest people.

Confusion abounds over the cause of boredom. The researcher, Danchert, argues in Mind (2013) that boredom is an attention disorder: a lack of discrimination between novel and familiar. Possible solution: train the bored to recognize when an event is novel. Sorry - the lack of discrimination describes the result of boredom, not the cause.

Only recently has boredom become a widely recognized social fact. In Medieval times it was called the sin of sloth. The early French called it nonchalance or languor. In 18th century England, the leisure class struggled with vacuity, tedium, listlessness and insipidity. In the early 19th century it was finally called "boredom", along with rise of factory labor. Interesting.

Bored

Still, the evidence is accumulating in recent studies. Boredom is more likely among the young, the more extraverted and more intelligent. The more prone to boredom have frustrated needs and high activation levels. The very bored can be reckless sensation-seekers, who try to escape boredom in risky ventures. Krasko (2004) sees a major cause in degraded, factory-like education in which students see nothing of themselves. Some are more bored in their leisure time than at work or school. One researcher noted that the bored have little self-focus and cannot "access and understand their emotions" (Eastwood et al, 2007).

To me, boredom is the lack of desire or emotional contact with what you care about. If you can listen to yourself, open your heart to what you care about, and go after what is most meaningful to you, then you can be illuminated and fulfilled.

What a mouthful! To get in touch with what you love and care about is an awesome, immense undertaking. I am humble before that task. But a few have written about how to get there.  Look up the works of Sher, Frankl, Wertheimer, Bingamen, and others.

They are some of the pioneers of boredom.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Disgust, the Emotion of Boundaries

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Argh!

Ugh! Yuck! Barf! Eeuw! PeYu! Disgust is the emotion behind the relation and thought "I want no part of it!". We see whatever as tainted, repugnant and offensive.

This emotion is not only about unhealthy or dirty goods, but also about things that taint or corrupt our sense of Self, or even the community to which we belong.

Disgust naturally leads to the erection of boundaries to prevent contamination (see my blog on Loyalty).  Even contacts with the other side, the wrong friends, or who you are seen with can be "disgusting". In fact there is nothing that cannot be labeled as disgusting. Habits, speech, a hairdo, clothing - all can be branded by some trend-setter or "authority" as disgusting.

Disgust finds a natural home in moralizing efforts to define what is good or bad for us. Disgust can be developed into Guilt with the addition of anger, fear of punishment, threat of banishment.  "You oughta be ashamed!" expresses disgust with your very sense of who you are.

Well, I am disgusted with disgust! The fact is, every moldy, rotten, smelly thing has its place in the great cycle of life. Example: 6 to 8 pounds of foreign microbes in our gut help us digest food and provide vital nutrients. Effort to conceal or fence in our bad behavior avoids dealing with it and benefiting from it.

When we stopped burying garbage in the back yard in the 60's and began recycling, we finally realized that potentially all of our garbage is recyclable or useful.

Are you ready to deal with your own - - - garbage?

About Dr. Raynard Dr.
Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

My Loyalty is Your Enemy

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

The instant we become a member, loyalty divides us from non-members. Sure, some boundaries can be porous: those of family, hometown, volunteers, etc. let us come and go.

The emotion of "belonging" is powerful. To belong gives us protection, status, a safer place for our empathy and compassion and even a sense of identity.  It bonds all together. And divides us.

Neighbors

Other memberships have tests and trials to prove you are worthy of membership.  School grades, college entry, connections professions, and all elite memberships have hard boundaries. You are "in" or "out".

In strict memberships, tests of loyalties are broad: attendance, clothing, rituals, flags, emblems, passwords, boot camps, etc.  Outsiders are "other people", heathen and the unwashed.

In clans, tribes, cults, and sects, boundaries are like barrier reefs and define your personal worth. Violation of code brings betrayal, banishment, excommunication. Beliefs, rituals, clothing - and other branding methods - affirm your membership.  In the extreme, offenses can lead to isolation, warfare, and revenge lasting centuries. Think of North and South, Shiites and Sunni, Hatfields and McCoys, believers and non-believers.

"Can't we all get along?" Yes, if we find ways to stop demonizing others unlike us, see purity as a perversion, and open our hearts.

Our immediate neighbors have Hawaiian, Asian, Mexican, Indian and black roots, with both ranching and big city backgrounds. Honestly, it doesn't appear that we even notice. I could wish this for all.

About Dr. Raynard 
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Emotions and the Theater of Life

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Emotions are everywhere, every moment, however buried or concealed, and they help form the roles we play in the theater of life. Every activity is driven by emotions.

The appeal of emotion can be in car design, clothing, music, sports, crowds, politics - everywhere. After all, every human event or product is brought about by a warm-blooded human being. No matter how remote the person at work appears - the scientist, the surgeon, the ambassador - all have emotions that vary moment to moment, nudge or pull, and lead one to next thing and the next.

I want your toys

This is why I write about such diverse theaters of life, like the classroom, mass shootings, the playground, inventions, families, cooking and more. We all bring our emotion-driven needs, desires, sentiments, interests, and satisfactions to each setting in our daily life.

The motivation for our actions in all the theaters of life, I believe, can be best understood by the emotions and their combinations. Why would anyone accumulate so much stuff that he cannot possibly use and enjoy, so that he either stores it or displays it? The emotion is envy: I want what you have; it seems better than what I have; and having it makes me feel more secure and better than you. The emotions relating to competition, dominance, in-group and control are recruited along the way. In time the emotion of envy hardens into a way of life called greed. We have created a theater of life in which you never have enough.

Yes, life is a stage and we are players on it, but it is also a real and earnest role we play.

In my writings I invite you to witness real-life drama in all the  theaters of life.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Everyone his/her own Therapist?

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

What does our bad habit or self-defeating behavior do for you?  This paradoxical question and its gutsy answer helps you let go of a self-defeating habit and find a new way.

Yes, whatever you do has a purpose, or you wouldn't do it - right?

The point is that whatever you do that gets you into trouble does a whole, whole lot for you. When you take time to write down seriously all the benefits, you will need more than a page.

Let's say you procrastinate and you are really good at it. Here are just a few emotional traps:

Choices

1. You don't have to risk criticism (fear)
2. You live in glorious possibilities (hope)
3. You are saving up a "good" experience (secure)
4. You have a sense of freedom in not-doing (self-satisfaction)
5. You don't have to face your limitations (anxiety)
6. You don't risk defeat (abuse)
7. You don't have to look at "what comes after that (carefree) 

Now you are in a position to find other ways of getting each benefit, e.g. "I welcome defeat because I learn the quickest that way!" Or, "Once I start, it is more clear what I have to do after that". You have choices.

This self-examination can be difficult or easy, depending, but it has been a most empowering exercise for everyone. We are amazed at what our bad habit has been up to, and it is often clear what we must do to change it. And find emotional freedom.

Are you tempted to try this out?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Beneath the Anxiety - Treasure!

 

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Anxiety and fear can make you avoid a bad situation, and you also can learn how to face up to it. But what then? Do you know what to do with your new-found freedom?

I have come to see that it makes a very small satisfaction in overcoming an anxiety "disorder" if you don't know what to do with your new freedom. I have learned to ask my clients what the would love to do with their life, their dream job, their ideal day, the experiences they wish to have, what they need most - all ways of asking for the true love in their life.

When the love of your life is frustrated, minimized, or slighted, strong emotions are generated, such as anger, guilt, disgust, depression, and more. This sense of something missing from your life can lead to a kind of low level depression.

Free at last

Burns (2013) found that after a client got mostly over her anxiety at work, she still had nausea and the urge to vomit when she walked by the desk of her boss. I believe that her nausea was not remaining anxiety but disgust with her work. Disgust, the emotion driving guilt.  She long desired to be a dress designer, and when she left to pursue that line of work, all her nausea disappeared.

Yes, if fear and anxiety have oppressed you for a long time, it may be hard to renew hope and faith in what you love.  Still, clearing away the worries and fears helps you find the hidden treasure.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Myths about Emotions - Part 2

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Why do we demonize our emotions, those experiences which are so personal, so faithful, forever looking out for us? Here are even more myths about emotions:

Yow!

A common myth is that emotions cloud judgment and thought, and lead to real trouble. The heat of the moment, the old hurt feeling, the inflexible emotional position - these make us act in ways to bring about harm we can't take back easily. Right?

Of course emotions that are acted on in ways to defend ourselves or attack get us into trouble.  Examples are instinctive lashing out, the nurturing of negative emotions, or old protective habits. However, if emotions are acted on in fulfilling ways, ways that fulfill the essential purpose of each emotion, we will act in ways that complete the emotion and enable it to loosen its hold.  Then, our judgment is better than ever.

Another myth is that emotions are either positive or negative, as if each kind must lead us to a good or bad outcome. If it were so simple! Certainly, anger sounds negative, and has unpleasant bodily feelings.  We may associate it with the most upsetting, harmful times of our loves. Yet anger can keep us focused and determined to get something essential for us. I makes no sense that "negative" emotions have no purpose except to defeat us and make us feel bad.

Another widely held myth is that by simply expressing the emotion, you have accepted it and are in control. Eastern faiths and meditation seminars induced relaxation so that you can observe, experience and let go of the emotions. Seminars train professionals to help others express and label feelings yet neglect what they should do about them, e.g. "get it out, tell us how you feel, and you'll feel better".

Despite its short-term effectiveness and the adept who can detach throughout the day, emotions come back anyway. Victims of trauma, abuse, or neglect have powerful emotions that can persist many years, or even a lifetime. Years ago, a faddish therapy called "primal scream" encouraged extreme expressions of feeling, with the result that many were stuck in "screaming" for months on end. This myth rides roughshod over the evidence of how useful these persistent emotions can be when they are resolved.

Expression of emotion is only the beginning of integrating your emotions. Emotions can motivate cruelty or kindness, greed or gratitude, recklessness or protection - depending on how they are handled.

Can you think of more myths? I bet you can.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Myths about Emotions - Part 1

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

As much as we live with our emotions everyday, commonly held opinions about emotions blur and confuse us in ways that do harm to us.

One position is that emotions are useless.  They belong to a primitive stage in human development when we had to react quickly, instinctively. Emotions don't help to digest information or make decision. More formally, the view is that emotions are dysfunctional and impair the logical, evidence based decision-making that is part of human rationality.

Which emotion?

This position ignores the fact that emotions can guide and direct us beneath our awareness. It ungraciously ignores that zest and meaning that the positive emotions give to life. An impoverished emotional life leads to the stunted relations and barren inner life of a hermit or recluse. Neurology tells us that emotions are actually essential for both making and carrying out decisions.

Another myth is that emotions are upsetting and dangerous beasts that have to be tamed, i.e. the dark and chaotic Id. Each age has created its own vampires, witches, zombies, aliens and devils. Certainly, emotions can make one kill, torture or harm. This position leads to constant monitoring and a whole array of measures to suppress emotions. Continual vigilance is the order of the day.

This position ignores the dynamic that the more you repress feelings, the more dangerous and intrusive they become. That is because they persist in some form, regardless. Repressed anger can become complaining, complaining becomes resentment, and when you have made your case airtight, bitterness lies at the end. Or much worse. By fiercely de-emotionalizing life, you feed the dangerous beast, not tame it.

Another myth is that emotion is just an effect, an ornament not to be taken too seriously. In this case, emotions don't tell you much except how well or ill things have turned out. A more extreme view is that emotions are crazy - they upset you and lead you astray. Better to ignore them as best as you can! They certainly cannot be taken as the basis of planning or initiating things.

This breezy disregard fails to make use of the richness of emotional life.  It turns cause and effect on its head, neglecting to see that acting wisely on your feelings makes event turn out better.  Also, it is very useful to know how events have turned out, as measured by our feelings about them.

The misuse of emotions is so rampant and varied, it will probably take another blog to dig them out.

I'll try to make your emotions your best friends!

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Loneliness - Social or Emotional?

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

The confusion never stops. There is a need to know who you are as well as a need to play a role in a social group. The first discovers all the ways you are, and the second, all the ways you can belong to the group. The first builds a relation with yourself. The second, a relation with the group.

Lonely

Yet "Loneliness" is used everywhere for both emotional and social needs. Maybe we should use "Alienation" just for the social need.

"Shaking off Loneliness", an article in the NY Times, 5-14-13, quotes Caciappo (2008) about the ill health that goes with loneliness: "social isolation is on a par with high blood pressure obesity, lack of exercise or smoking as a risk factor". The problem: he uses the UCLA Loneliness Scale, which confuses intimacy with a single person with social participation. Other tests make this distinction, i.e. the Social and Emotional Loneliness Scale.

In fact, his chapter titled "Knowing Thyself, among Others" is mostly about empathy for others.

Social acceptance doesn't overcome loneliness. Facebook has been shown to help social acceptance, but not loneliness. Young (2003) and others agree we have needs for nurturance and support, not just for fitting in. Andre (1991) holds up "Positive Solitude" as a virtue in which you learn to have a good relation with yourself, instead of "unproductively comparing your life with that of another". On the other hand, Laing (1965) shows how the lack of self-disclosure can lead to much outward sociability that is all "fake".

In the end, both needs are genuine: a need for uniqueness and a need to belong. They can both get along. Why confuse the two?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Greed - A Way of Life or a Trap?

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Envy abounds, even in the youngest. A child is so quick to grab a toy from a playmate's hand, without a thought. Squabble, tears and retaliation soon follow.

The playmate's joy in his toys makes them more desirable than his own. Neglected toys are rarely swiped. The emotion of envy grows into "What else am I missing out on?" The attitude forms, "I don't have it because they have it". Envy recruits competition and aggressiveness. In time, with the social ranking in the teens and the feelings of insecurity that envy recruits, greed blossoms. Now our sense of self-worth and importance are on the line. Greed becomes a way of life.

Mine!

Once, a bumper sticker I saw read. "What the Hell, I want it all!".

But, hey, let's face the facts! Many studies show that those who strongly value the pursuit of wealth have more depression, more physical ailments, and more relationship problems. Clinically, there is more OCD,  likelihood of ADHD, isolation, passive-aggression, poor impulse control, and more. Studies also show that, with increasing wealth, a person has less regard for another point of view, i.e. less empathy. The more materialistic, the less generous and trusting we become. Beyond caring for basic needs and comfort, pursuing wealth makes for "lower psychological well-being".

The wealthy do not play with their toys, but store them or display them.

Now and then, we dare talk about greed openly. In the May 18 NY Times, the reviewer of The Great Gatsby, referring also to "Spring Breakers", "The Bling Ring" and other movies, concludes "This is how we live: greedily, enviously, superficially, in a state of endless, self-justifying desire". But the most articulate writers are silent on this subject.

Even more to the point, Edney (2005) declares "It is time that greed be listed in DSM IV. With well directed psychological research of course greed will turn out to be a personality trait with a distribution in the population, and personality tests will be able to screen for extremes." The extreme of greed would be a personality disorder.

Well, what do you think? Do we take the mythology out of greed and treat it? Gratitude, instead of greed?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Fear of the Worst Health Report

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Just checking

That funny lump, poor sleep, the spacy feeling all day - fear can keep you from checking it out and getting the reassurance you need.

On Health (CR, May, 2013) tells us that 38% of those over 50 have never had a colonscopy, despite 90% accuracy by screening. Fear puts off screenings and care for cancer, stroke, heart attacks and much more. And who doesn't have a fear of needles, dentists, side effects, and  hospitals? Emotional problems of panic, anxiety and depression can be put off even though these conditions are well known and very treatable. In our center's study, sufferers of panic put off their first appointment for an average of 9 years!

Fear is more than the catch phrase, "fight or flight". Please add; "freeze". This often begins a habit of actively avoiding whatever might remind you of your worry. Changing the subject, procrastinating, waiting and see, hoping for the best, minimizing, covering up, repressing, compensating elsewhere -
it's a full time job!

I would add "facing up" to the three catch phrases above. This means facing your fears of what it could be - and not be. Describing it completely, even writing your experience down, is the first step to facing up. That history could be very helpful to your therapist, too.

Second, tell someone who cares about it. You may get the comfort of someone with similar experience and good direction to a specialist. Of course, you get relief just from sharing it.

Third, get an experienced practitioner online, if you don't have one yourself. Insist on a good diagnostician if you don't know your condition. If you do, insist that the doctor/therapist have some specialization with your condition.

Then, for your appointment, bring along a your spouse or a friend. It can be reassuring to have someone who will ask questions, share what you find, or just distract you from your worries. Your partner will help you get and remember the whole picture, as well as the overall plan.

Congratulations! If you can do all the above you have earned the virtue of Courage. You have faced up to what it is, its limits, what you can do about it, and how others can help. Now you can get on with who and what matters in your life.

"Facing up" frees you.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

In Awe - The Plant Tales of New Mexico

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

A Wonder

The emotion of awe is the wondrous, sometimes unexpected realization you are part of something so much bigger.

Outside the back door of our home in New Mexico was land that I learned was undisturbed for 5 million years. Here are some of the wonders of its living plants whose ancestors were that old.

A roadside plant often grows alone, inconspicuously, looking whitish-green. It becomes surprisingly sturdy, with branches with buds at the tips, growing to about 2 feet.  By then it is chalky-white with streaks of green at the tips. The flowers, pure white, bloom only at night and close up quickly at sunrise. No bees seem to visit, but perhaps the night moth does. This solitary plant I call the "Ghost Plant".

A small nest of twigs starts in early Spring, looking quite fragile. With amazing speed, by June it grows into a miniature rounded Oak tree about 5 feet tall, without a single leaf, just pale green branches.  Its shape is globular, symmetrical, and exquisitely branched. By the end of July, it has turned, just as quickly, into a brown, still leafless statuette. This is the "Desert Bonsai".

A white buttercup starts up in late Spring, growing with others in large groupings. In about a month, slender green tendrils grow out close to the ground, sometimes leading to new flowers. These tendrils snake and weave, and grow and grow, until there is a mat woven about 2 inches thick, quite tangled and nearly impenetrable.  Such a cute beginning!  I call this "Tanglefoot".

A common plant in the high desert starts in early spring looking just like a dandelion: flat, splayed, serrated. Then a sprout develops in the middle. An asparagus? A vine? No, it grows into a tall dandelion, the same leaves around a sturdy, tall stalk. Then, in July, after reaching 3 - 4 feet, it shoots off a corona of lacy branches at the top with a burst of tiny, yellow star-flowers. The "Dandelion Rocket".

A solemn plant resembles a grouping of hands of monks pointing to the sky, cupped in prayer. They take turns  blooming, the "fingers" becoming a circle of green spikes around a pale, yellow flower, like a medieval turret. They all turn to greet the rising sun. The "Monk's Salutation".

All these wonders made me reverent and awed at the ancient high desert land and plants. I, too, evolved from some such ancient landscape, a larger whole.  I learned to tread carefully.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Emotions are Good for You - Yum!

 

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Each emotions tells you that you have a need - is that so bad? Yet emotions are often demonized as irrational, needless, misleading, negative, upsetting, and even sin itself.

Let's face it. We are hard wired for emotions.  Panksepp and others agree we share all our basic emotions with all warm-blooded animals. Emotions happen all the time and we can have emotions about anything. And a single emotion involves our whole being: physiology, sensation, brain functions, appraisal, urge to act, and the complexity of thought and belief.

Emotions

In short, emotions give us energy and direction. So what are we to do with them?

Our strongest emotions are about things that matter most to us. We have little feeling for things that do not matter. The evidence is that emotions tell us very quickly where we stand about some event, whether it is beneficial or not. More importantly, emotions give us direction and a urge to act, but of a very general sort. How we do act on them determines whether we will get upset, entangled in them and defeat ourselves - or whether they lead to satisfaction and fulfillment.

Anger tells us we are frustrated in some need, but it could lead to blame and revenge - or - to assertiveness and determination. Fear tells us to face up to a threat. Sadness tells us to let go and renew hope. Affection tells us to engage and get close to who/what we love. Each emotion has a purpose.

With no emotion, we can end up painfully bored, having no desires, distant from everyone, or incapable of making decisions.

It has taken me a lifetime to find the purpose of each emotion and untangle it from mess we make of misusing our emotions. That is the focus of my book, The Purpose of Emotions, and the self-help books on each of the 14 basic emotions.

Each emotion can be fulfilled and completed. Isn't that yummy?

About Dr. Raynard Dr.
Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Crowdfunding - Personal Support for Your Start-Up

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Now start-ups can get funded by people who just like your idea and can put up a few bucks, rather than by equity funding, IPO's and other venture capital groups.

A New Way

Traditional funding for start-up companies relies on proven concepts and the potential for big profits. It call for much paperwork - budgeting, projections, presentations - and just the right contacts. It calls for big money, too.

Crowdfunding means that you can raise money online from those who just like your idea and want to support it in a small way, a few dollars up front. Now you can reel out a great idea online, maybe one you have been thinking of a long time, and have at least the beginnings of a workable project  In a sense, your marketing has been done before the product is delivered. This is very different from the traditional marketing and public relation approach

Maybe the biggest difference is that you build a community around your project who will offer their advice and experience, and cheer you on your way. They will give you feedback as your project develops and help things move along. They don't expect a return on investment, just being part of something they believe in.

Kickstarter is one site for this grassroots venture capital. Amazingly, Yancey Strickler, its co-founder, has directed over $435 million into about 37,000 projects. You can see some fascinating start-up inventions in Popular Science (May, 2013).

You can imagine that much innovation will get under way that has bogged down from a lack of support, isolation, and needed feedback. And imagine the stimulus that comes from those who believe in you and are cheering you on!

Viva crowdfunding!

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Aging is Good Deal

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Good News! As you get older, negative emotions decline and emotional well-being increases. This is based on 340,000 people surveyed by Gallup (2010), no small number.

It was in the period from 55 to 65 years that showed the greatest drop in stress, worry and anger, although all generally dropped from about age 25 on.

Satisfaction

Not only that, but marriages were more satisfying and had more positive experiences, even when the partners quarrel, according to another study. In fact, there was more satisfaction with friendships and relationships in general. It is attributed to more regular and open expression of affection, even when conflicts arise.

Social bonds turned out to be smaller, but closer with friends and relatives. Actually, he most consistent predictor of well-being for social relationships was volunteering - from lending a helping hand to doing community work.

One study sort of sums it up: people are more wise in the old age, with more ranking in the top 20% on "wisdom performance". This means, the ability to see other's points of view, to compromise, to appreciate the limits of knowledge, and manage disputes. They are open to new experiences and perspectives.

Another study found that older folk are generally happier in their day-to-day activities and when they participate in leisure and physical activities. My guess is that with age you sort out what works for you and what doesn't and that experience counts. Has anyone made a movie about this?

This may go against accepted opinion that when older, you are bound to be more grumpy, more reclusive, and unsure of yourself, and so on. Lots of movies for this genre.

You can check this out on a well-documented article in On Health (Consumer Rep, May 2013).


About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Is insecurity an emotion?

by Richard C. Raynard,
 Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist

I believe "insecurity" is an emotion, but it is easy to get tongue-tied trying to put it into words.

I don't mean "security" as in a financial asset. Nor is it "security" in the sense of a protection system. Nor is it meaning safe and sound. And it's not like being secured with a rope.


A bit nervous

I am trying to describe the feeling that goes with caring for yourself - self-care.

One problem is that most of the words that involve attention to yourself sound - well - selfish, like self-interest, self-improvement, self-promotion, or self-love. The fact is, we do not have a single word that means just taking good care of ourselves.

If you don't know how to take care of yourself, it certainly shows. You may look helpless and childlike, as if you are flapping your arms. You make look jittery and uncertain about everything. Or, you can look like you are always in trouble from neglecting or overlooking things. If you don't like looking insecure, you may try to pull off a swagger and be mouthy to get some respect.

On the other hand, if you are secure, you know how to look after your needs. It's more than just being competent and handy.It's recognizing that feeling you need to take care of something and acting on it.

What do you think? Have I carved out a working definition of the emotion? It probably is the foundation of what we call assurance and self-esteem.

Let me have your vote.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.