Guilt - The Great Dismal Swamp

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Guilt is a word passed around so easily, like a snapshot. But why does it feel so heavy and sticky, like a foul swamp that slows you with all its heavy muck?

 Guilt is tangled with emotions. They reveal with it is made of, as well as what to do about it.

How could I?

Guilt begins with the emotion of disgust, the feeling that you or someone has been tainted, stained or violated. It is the emotion of nausea and revulsion in bodily terms. If you are disgusted with yourself, you feel you have violated your sense of Self. You can't believe you did it.

Fear is quickly recruited by disgust. "Will I be punished? Will I be condemned? Will everyone find out? What will happen to me?" These fears multiply and can be more upsetting than disgust.

Anger comes naturally with disgust. "They are unfair. I was never told. Its was a trap. No one is defending me." Anger can keep guilt going, as it offers no remedy, only complaints, blaming, etc.

Hurt can be a deep wound that comes with the disgust of others. "How can they think that of me? Is there no forgiveness?  I feel condemned." Hurt can make you withdraw inside yourself and suffer alone.

Sadness flows from disgust. "I have lost my standing. People will never think of me in the same way. I am forever tainted." This sadness, too, you can easily keep inside.

Shame may be one of the worst outcomes of disgust. Instead of feeling you are part of your community, you feel alienated. "Something is basically wrong with me.  I don't belong anywhere. I have no place. I am banished." You may feel there is no way back.

This entanglement of emotions around guilt has a far reach. Here are a few: being over-apologetic, giving into guilt, feeling a failure, considering others before yourself, unable to ask for what you need, craving a good reputation, angry when others disappoint, finding you don't measure up to others.  My Guilt Test has over such 50 items.

Disgust needs healing, as it is the recruiter of all the other emotions. Yes, you can learn perspective, acceptance, fairness and even appreciation, so that you put what is tainted where it does no harm. Literature by Borysenko, Young & Klosko, and Lufkin can help.

In the '50s, garbage was buried shamefully in the back yard, out of sight. Today we see that all parts of garbage are useful and can be recycled.

Can you recycle your guilt?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Disgust, the Emotion of Boundaries

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Argh!

Ugh! Yuck! Barf! Eeuw! PeYu! Disgust is the emotion behind the relation and thought "I want no part of it!". We see whatever as tainted, repugnant and offensive.

This emotion is not only about unhealthy or dirty goods, but also about things that taint or corrupt our sense of Self, or even the community to which we belong.

Disgust naturally leads to the erection of boundaries to prevent contamination (see my blog on Loyalty).  Even contacts with the other side, the wrong friends, or who you are seen with can be "disgusting". In fact there is nothing that cannot be labeled as disgusting. Habits, speech, a hairdo, clothing - all can be branded by some trend-setter or "authority" as disgusting.

Disgust finds a natural home in moralizing efforts to define what is good or bad for us. Disgust can be developed into Guilt with the addition of anger, fear of punishment, threat of banishment.  "You oughta be ashamed!" expresses disgust with your very sense of who you are.

Well, I am disgusted with disgust! The fact is, every moldy, rotten, smelly thing has its place in the great cycle of life. Example: 6 to 8 pounds of foreign microbes in our gut help us digest food and provide vital nutrients. Effort to conceal or fence in our bad behavior avoids dealing with it and benefiting from it.

When we stopped burying garbage in the back yard in the 60's and began recycling, we finally realized that potentially all of our garbage is recyclable or useful.

Are you ready to deal with your own - - - garbage?

About Dr. Raynard Dr.
Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.