by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
The instant we become a member, loyalty divides us from non-members. Sure, some boundaries can be porous: those of family, hometown, volunteers, etc. let us come and go.
The emotion of "belonging" is powerful. To belong gives us protection, status, a safer place for our empathy and compassion and even a sense of identity. It bonds all together. And divides us.
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| Neighbors |
In strict memberships, tests of loyalties are broad: attendance, clothing, rituals, flags, emblems, passwords, boot camps, etc. Outsiders are "other people", heathen and the unwashed.
In clans, tribes, cults, and sects, boundaries are like barrier reefs and define your personal worth. Violation of code brings betrayal, banishment, excommunication. Beliefs, rituals, clothing - and other branding methods - affirm your membership. In the extreme, offenses can lead to isolation, warfare, and revenge lasting centuries. Think of North and South, Shiites and Sunni, Hatfields and McCoys, believers and non-believers.
"Can't we all get along?" Yes, if we find ways to stop demonizing others unlike us, see purity as a perversion, and open our hearts.
Our immediate neighbors have Hawaiian, Asian, Mexican, Indian and black roots, with both ranching and big city backgrounds. Honestly, it doesn't appear that we even notice. I could wish this for all.
About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.
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