Borderlines - the Emotional Hurricanes

by Richard C. Raynard,
Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist

A "borderline personality" is a person of emotional storms that go on exhaustively all day, driving away friends and loved ones. They feel empty and helpless in the face of overwhelming anger, hurt, jealousy, rejection and more. They don't have much of a sense of who they are. And they make up about 1 in every 50 adults. Whew!

Can they be trained to slow down, reflect and resolve their emotions? Dialectical Behavior Therapy has offered skills in mindfulness (reflection), acceptance of feelings, and interpersonal effectiveness, say, in asserting yourself.

Flooded with Emotions

More can be done, according to The Purpose of Emotions, my Ebook on how to fulfill emotions rather than have them run your life. It not only redirects anger into useful assertiveness, it redirects all 14 basic emotions into fulfillment. Here are some examples, in very brief outline:


 Emotion     Relation                Purpose                 Outcome

 Fear           Threatened             Face up to threat    Freedom
 Helpless     Neglect of self        Self-care                 Self-esteem
 Sadness      Loss of love/hope   Take stock              Renewal

This is how a focus of emotions and their uniquely human purpose can be a direct, intuitive means for a person to change their self-defeating ways and create a solid sense of Self.

This is only a thumbnail sketch. You can find much more in the Ebooks on each emotion and in The Purpose of Emotions. Where I and others have used the emotional fulfillment approach, we have seen gratifying turnarounds.

More to come...

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Is insecurity an emotion?

by Richard C. Raynard,
 Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist

I believe "insecurity" is an emotion, but it is easy to get tongue-tied trying to put it into words.

I don't mean "security" as in a financial asset. Nor is it "security" in the sense of a protection system. Nor is it meaning safe and sound. And it's not like being secured with a rope.


A bit nervous

I am trying to describe the feeling that goes with caring for yourself - self-care.

One problem is that most of the words that involve attention to yourself sound - well - selfish, like self-interest, self-improvement, self-promotion, or self-love. The fact is, we do not have a single word that means just taking good care of ourselves.

If you don't know how to take care of yourself, it certainly shows. You may look helpless and childlike, as if you are flapping your arms. You make look jittery and uncertain about everything. Or, you can look like you are always in trouble from neglecting or overlooking things. If you don't like looking insecure, you may try to pull off a swagger and be mouthy to get some respect.

On the other hand, if you are secure, you know how to look after your needs. It's more than just being competent and handy.It's recognizing that feeling you need to take care of something and acting on it.

What do you think? Have I carved out a working definition of the emotion? It probably is the foundation of what we call assurance and self-esteem.

Let me have your vote.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.