How to love work

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist


A 2013 survey of 12,115 workers found "a lack of a fulfilling workplace" (Schwartz & Forath, NY Times 6/1/14). Here are some of their survey results. These qualities of a fulfilling workplace follow closely the requirements for mature Love, or "Flow".

Reflection          A regular time for creative thinking          No = 70% 
Concentration    Ability to focus on one thing at a time      No = 68%
Attraction          Opportunity to do what is most enjoyed    No = 60%
Transcendence  Level of meaning and significance             No = 50%
Commitment     Connection to corporate mission               No = 50%
Community       A sense of community                               No = 49%
Curiosity           Opportunity for learning and growth         No = 49%
Competence      Opportunity to do what you do best           No = 47%

Mature love has been found by several scientists to involve the qualities in the left hand column above.  Mature love means offering all and the best you have - whether from an emotional perspective (Hook, Frederickson, Fromm, Seligman) or from a work perspective (Seligman, Csikszentmihalyi).

Speaking of hate of work - hate is based, emotionally, on disappointment in an area where you had high expectations. A let-down, a betrayal, a disillusion, a failure, "pulling the rug out", all express this hurtful, often angry experience.

The two authors also set up a pilot group of employees with changed work conditions: alternate 90- minute of focused work with 10-15 minute breaks, a full 1 hour break in the afternoon, permission to leave when finished. They got more work done in less time, left earlier in the evenings, and had less stress over the busy season than regular workers. Turnover was far lower.

Most employers don't allow their workers to love their work, and instead supervise out of fear they "won't accomplish their work without constant oversight".

The path is clear. Using employee-centered organization, Costco has shown that their employees generate twice the sales of Walmart, at an average $20.89 an hour wage.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found onAmazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Mindfulness Anybody?

Mindful or what?

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

 

Too bad Mindfulness can't be patented! It has been so fertile through the ages in its many incarnations. Simply, it means being attentive and open to your inner thoughts and feelings. It's both adventurous and ordinary.

 

Plato asked long ago "Why should we not calmly and patiently review our own thoughts...and see what these appearances really are?"

 

 Buddhist meditation formed a spiritual practice of detachment from all worldly concerns (Maya) to attain compassion for the whole of life: Enlightment.

 

Surprisingly, some philosophers of the Enlightment were critical: Hume said introspection changes the awareness itself; Kant saying it only hints are all that goes on inside.
 

Early 20th century, introspection became a widely used method in science, the "self-report", to discover your conscious thoughts and feelings.

Soon, the behaviorists in early psychology objected to introspection as unreliable and subjective, and therefore had little scientific reliability.

 

In meditation methods in psychotherapy, some focused on a specific object, others were unfocused  In the 60's and 70's, some saw is as just relaxation, others as a powerful liberation of the mind.

 

"Mindfulness" was coined by Kabat-Zinn as a meditation technique to reduce stress and free the mind to be positive and healthy.

 

Mindfulness is associated strongly today with the ancient disciplines of Yoga and Tai Chi, so that it is quite trendy in health clubs and community centers.

There are many more terms for mindfulness in literature, Here is a sample: sacred stillness, inner calm, space of quiet, contemplate in prayer, inmost stillness, centering, time of reflection and peace, quiet and spiritual safety, inner shrine, stillness, and much more.

 

Self-compassion is a late incarnation of mindfulness and is said to support spiritual virtue in the method called "The Now Moment".

 

Mindfulness has helped the mind-body techniques go viral. Body-awareness is part of nutritional and exercise counseling, somatic focusing, energy techniques, movement, guided imagery, and more.

 

Rumination now has a positive focus, seen a necessary review of loss and goals, and mark of resilience in depression, whereas before it was a pessimistic trap of depression.

 

Finally, we have day-dreaming. The research of Kaufman, Singer and others argue that being attentive to thoughts and openness in daydreaming leads to optimal learning, creativity and well-being. Others found that such time allows compassion for your self and positive life planning.

 

What do you get out of all this?  They all point to the value of your very own thoughts and feelings, so I would go with the approach you have most taste for. 

 

You may have to meditate on this!

 

About Dr. Raynard

Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

From Envy to Opporunity - for Growth

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

 

Why am I attracted to the most horrific, misbegotten tales of our time?  Everyone asks. Because I like solutions, and behind the worst problems are often the best solutions.

 

Opportunity for all

Arthur C. Brooks, president of the American Enterprise Institute (NY Times, 3-2-14), documents with admirable clarity and evidence the growth of envy since 2000.  "The root cause of increasing envy is a belief that opportunity is in decline". Even more, he offers solutions: increase opportunity via education, tax and safety net reform and offer leaders who can inspire optimism. "Only a shared, joyful mission of freedom, opportunity and enterprise for all will cure us of envy - and remind us of who we truly are."

 

This conclusion is solid and inspirational, but doesn't go far enough. My solution would add that everyone not only let go of envy, but also embrace your vital interests and who/what you truly love. For systemic change I offer here common-sense solutions to a major cause of the decline of opportunity - the corporate world, the Incubator of Envy. Corporate barriers to opportunity - and promotion of envy - are seen in wage scales, income distribution, health hazards, market monopoly, media control, work hours, hiring practices, overseas job loss, and much more.

 

-  Corporations are only chartered by the US; no Delaware Corporation loopholes.

-  Amendment: corporations are not persons, not entitled to privacy; money not speech.

-  In the Uniform Charter, workers have 50% representation on Boards of Directors.

-  Each corporation proves yearly its social benefit and harmlessness, or charter revoked.

-  All harm arising from corporate practices are subject to criminal and civic penalties.

-  Corporations cannot raise private armies, write laws, make overseas trade agreements.

-  Corporations cannot shelter compensation/profits in overseas accounts or in any way.

-  All tax havens are illegal; taxes are paid concurrently, in full.

-  Minimum wages will support a 2 person family, tied to the cost of living index.

-  Maximum corporate compensation is 100 times minimum wage; over that, an 80% tax.

-  Corporations must assist schools in vocational training, paid internships, curriculum.

-  A World of Work channel informs the public about job opportunity and growth.

 

No doubt the cost of all this would be mightily resisted. However, there are even more gains from worker productivity, good health, fair taxes, meaningful education, jobs return to USA, fair elections, consumer demand, less welfare costs, and more. Just THE COST OF DOING BUSINESS!

 

These proposals may seem impossibly ideal.  On the other hand, they seem obvious, too. Suffering and the passage of time may make them seem very practical.

 

About Dr. Raynard

Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

An Oscar for the Parenting Channel

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist



Caring

President Obama just announced the "My Brother's Keeper" program and  white house task force to look into help for parents.

A huge territory.  Parenting is as different, from family to family, as different countries. Each family raises real differences in their children in happiness, competence, and personal fulfillment.

The evidence is in. If you have been raised in neglect, as an adult you may have cold relations, seething anger, and disillusionment. If your parents were very critical and punitive, you may grow up to feel defective and burdened with shame. If you were always pushed and compared to others, you could grow up with failure on you mind, or even become perfectionistic, to compensate. If you had to be responsible for the care of your brother, sister, or even a parent, you can become self-sacrificing as an adult, an "enabler", with anger underneath. For more, see Young & Klasko (1994).

Yet good parenting is never taught in schools or the media. We are more apt to see weird, dysfunctional families in the serials or in programing, like Wife Swap, etc. The raising of children doesn't make the news. A common path is to raise our children as we were raised. In any case, new parents are mostly on their own.

Think of the odds. Now, 50% or more newborn are to unmarried mothers, often in teenage years. Families themselves have become more scattered; neighborhoods are less like communities; families often have both parents working. You can fill in the rest.

I propose a publicly owned Parenting Channel that would reach everyone, at small relative cost, when they need it. The content should be public-driven, not sponsor-driven, and determined by a board of media professionals and citizens. The production values should have the intrinsically interesting features of todays best TV - personal stories, dramatic series, on-site documentaries, relevant biography, graphic design, breaking news, discussion panels, and more. Never boring. This programming is supplemented by links to developed websites and streamed on line. Commercials are limited to a 5 minute segment at hour's end.

 

The cost? My guess is about $60 million a year. PBS's budget was $200 million in 2012; staff costs about $3 million. About the cost of two fighter jets.

No kidding. The airwaves belong to the public, leased through its agencies and representatives to determine the content of most benefit to the public. Why should TV remain the most irrelevant and pernicious media? The benefit of the Parenting Channel is incalculable and positive. By every measure - good health, less violence, graduation rates, adult income, drug addiction - good parenting works.

Are you ready to tune in?

About Dr. Raynard

Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

A Politico Test for Trust

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Is it any wonder that, as revelations of corruption and abuse of power grow in America and across the world, that distrust has fueled the anger in the protests of our day?

Distrust is the emotion that is triggered  by vulnerability and real threat by someone you have trusted not to abuse you. The rupture of trust is more widespread now than any other time in history. Think of the military, church groups, the prison system, big oil, corporate pollution, contract workers, big pharm, compromised science, voter manipulation, bank fraud, insider brokers - please stop me!

I trust you

Strangely, our elected representatives undergo no test for trust. In fact, the qualifications for most every other job seeker require more credentialing, training, testing, certification and background checks than those who represent us so directly. Often, the black marks emerge only after one is in office. As Bill Maher said: don't wait too long to run for office, or someone soon will sling mud on you!

All those who run for office have the same emotions as you and I, and use their emotions to both guide them and to give them energy. All can be tested for trustfulness using all or portions of well-validated, reliable psychological tests. One such test, the MMPI, besides being a personality test, has built-in scales for the tendency to lie, to look too good, to be defensive and cover up, and to have reliable answers. Still other scales are for psychopathy, ego strength, ability to trust, and many others.

If we were serious about the trust we wish to place in our elected representatives, wouldn't a commission of qualified members be able to produce testing for both desirable and undesirable traits? Traits such as honesty, trustworthiness, emotional balance, empathy, and more?  Doesn't this program suit the evaluation of your world leaders as well, and be a part of the United Nations charter?  Off the top of your head, you can think of leaders who would be disqualified.

Why do we take such a hands-off approach to the emotional stability of our elected leaders when they have some of the most responsible, demanding jobs on earth? Our campaigning and electoral process have been compared to a circus sideshow!

Wouldn't you really like to know the candidate's capabilities for trust, honesty and openness?

About Dr. Raynard

Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Money as a Person

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

If corporations can have personhood, why not money?

We all have a relation with money.  If you are kid saving up for anew baseball mitt, it is a ticket to fun. If you have borrowed money to go to college, it's an investment in yourself. If you are making barely enough for basics for your family, money is a comfort and security. If you are truly impoverished, money rescues your very life.

What's enough?

Let's admit it, you keep careful watch over your money. You always know where it is, even when you have forgot birthdays, jewelry and other precious things. And your relationship is ongoing, as you keep track of all its ups and downs. You have a relationship with money.

Money has many personalities.  It can be all-mighty and powerful, an ogre that directs dynasties and nations, who measure and weigh it in so many economic terms. For those who win the lottery, it can be a giddy teenager who urges you into all kinds of reckless gamuts (it takes about 2 years to spend it all).  Money can be a social charmer, opening all kinds of doors, ensuring your social standing.

In greed, money finds a real home.  It promises the whole world and is so attractive, you never can get enough of it. It promises security, status, power, attractiveness, great toys, trophy wives and more.But, sorry, this money personality gradually takes over, as it wants your undivided attention. It claims you.

 

For the psychopathology of greed, see A. Kipnis, The Midas Complex, 2013.

Yet, for all its chameleon forms, money can be a good friend. It always stands by the balanced person to help form plans, get help, help others, make good choices, and come through in all the ups and downs of life. This money personality listens to you and honors your most heart-felt wishes.

The Supreme Court doesn't have to grant personhood to money. It already has many personalities.

What's your relationship to money?

About Dr. Raynard

Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

World-Wide Anger

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

On the one hand, is there a single country today that does not have some form of peaceful - sometimes violent - protest?   Besides most every country in Africa, South America and the Middle East, you have East Asian and European countries as well. Even in mature democracies like Britain, Sweden, and Australia. The protest comes from everyone's basic insecurity and lack of voice in the face of corrupt, enriched and imbedded politicos of all stripes.

On the other, there is increasingly a call for "systemic" change in the media, and not just in other countries.  Proposals in the USA  - prison overhaul, immigration reform, taxes on the wealthy, local farming -  have burgeoned in most every public sphere. The most thoughtful have prioritized such change, making free, open elections the very top priority.

All can vote

In my book Anger, I clarify that the purpose of anger is to find satisfaction of a basic need and not to fall into the instinctive trap, emotionally, of blame, disillusionment, and warfare. In so many movements, and particularly the Occupy movement, there has been confusion and uncertainty about what systematic change was demanded. And so across the world, protest movements have faltered, having no clear agreement about priorities for change, after the corrupt have been kicked out.  Think Libya, Egypt or Thailand.

My common sense says that free, open elections could be the top priority of all protests. Anger at no voice is satisfied by ensuring a fair, free electoral voice. So here goes:

  - All electoral campaigns are limited strictly to a 3 month period.
  - All funding is public, all donations limited to $250.
  - 5% of prime time in all publically licensed media is reserved for campaigning.
  - Amendment re Citizens United: money is not speech; corporations are not persons.
  - All elections, state and federal, abide by the Federal Electoral Commission.
  - Candidates show 2 months before election day how they will vote on 40 key issues.
  - Candidates who reverse on 5 or more key issues will be subject to recall.
  - All votes are recorded on paper, one for electronic tally, a copy for the voter.
  - One month early voting is allowed, as well as mail in and weekend voting.
  - All proven citizens over 18 can vote, including ex-felons and dual citizens.

Common sense -yes!  Idealism - yes! More than political will, it takes the will of people to band together and insist on such a key issue. What could be a more basic need in the protests than each citizen have a vote, make clear choices and ensure their will is carried out?

Some of my readers have asked for solutions.  There is one of them. Want more?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Guilt - The Great Dismal Swamp

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Guilt is a word passed around so easily, like a snapshot. But why does it feel so heavy and sticky, like a foul swamp that slows you with all its heavy muck?

 Guilt is tangled with emotions. They reveal with it is made of, as well as what to do about it.

How could I?

Guilt begins with the emotion of disgust, the feeling that you or someone has been tainted, stained or violated. It is the emotion of nausea and revulsion in bodily terms. If you are disgusted with yourself, you feel you have violated your sense of Self. You can't believe you did it.

Fear is quickly recruited by disgust. "Will I be punished? Will I be condemned? Will everyone find out? What will happen to me?" These fears multiply and can be more upsetting than disgust.

Anger comes naturally with disgust. "They are unfair. I was never told. Its was a trap. No one is defending me." Anger can keep guilt going, as it offers no remedy, only complaints, blaming, etc.

Hurt can be a deep wound that comes with the disgust of others. "How can they think that of me? Is there no forgiveness?  I feel condemned." Hurt can make you withdraw inside yourself and suffer alone.

Sadness flows from disgust. "I have lost my standing. People will never think of me in the same way. I am forever tainted." This sadness, too, you can easily keep inside.

Shame may be one of the worst outcomes of disgust. Instead of feeling you are part of your community, you feel alienated. "Something is basically wrong with me.  I don't belong anywhere. I have no place. I am banished." You may feel there is no way back.

This entanglement of emotions around guilt has a far reach. Here are a few: being over-apologetic, giving into guilt, feeling a failure, considering others before yourself, unable to ask for what you need, craving a good reputation, angry when others disappoint, finding you don't measure up to others.  My Guilt Test has over such 50 items.

Disgust needs healing, as it is the recruiter of all the other emotions. Yes, you can learn perspective, acceptance, fairness and even appreciation, so that you put what is tainted where it does no harm. Literature by Borysenko, Young & Klosko, and Lufkin can help.

In the '50s, garbage was buried shamefully in the back yard, out of sight. Today we see that all parts of garbage are useful and can be recycled.

Can you recycle your guilt?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Truth and Truthiness

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

 

When you look at all sides of an issue, you are likely to get the Truth. One side alone has the appearance of truth but, by itself, is a half-hearted lie - Truthiness.

 

The furor over invasion of privacy by the national security agencies consumes the media. Rarely mentioned is that, after a budget of $75 billion of 15 agencies a year, and about $500 billion since 2001, only 5 terrorist threats were ever directly foiled (Mueller & Stewart, 2014).  Even these were questioned by a congressional Oversight Board. Gulp!

 

Who knew?

In Milgram's famous study, 65% of subjects gave a maximum electric shock to those they saw tormented. He claimed "obedience to authority" was the cause. However, he gave no debriefing, personality tests, background or subject's view of the experiment. Milgram himself wonders, in an unpublished paper, how believable the setup was. Hmmm!

 

Once you get beyond a laboratory petri dish, where all the variables are controlled, things get complicated. In psychology, the causes of an angry episode can be parceled out to a genetic cause (temperament), a predisposing cause (early childhood), a contributing cause (stress), and immediate cause (frustration) a bodily cause (adrenalin), and a purposive cause (meet a need). Whew!

 

If you really want to prime your "truth pump", look up "falseness" in Roget's Thesaurus and find 6 pages of words for exaggeration, deception and concealment.

 

Truth doesn't change; it can be counted on; you can build upon it.  And it is complex, too.  Each of us has only a part of it.

 

Truth is both humbling and worthy of pursuit. What do you say?

 

About Dr. Raynard

Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Insecurity - A Tale of Two Cities

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

The emotion of insecurity is triggered by the realization that your needs are outrun by anything you can do about them. In one issue of the NY Times is a tale of two cities, the rich and the poor.

What to do?

The Wall Street story began with a poor, paycheck to paycheck family headed by a Willie Loman kind of father whose millionaire future was always just around the corner. His son borrowed his insecurity and dreamed that money would solve everything. He was much frustrated until he got into trading. But soon, he found that no matter how many millions he made, others made more. Paid only 1.5 million in his 5th year, he wanted to be a billionaire and be "important", a somebody.

Finally, he saw in himself the fear of other traders losing anything and their anger at any constraint on their income. He withdrew from his "wealth addiction" in panic and quit Wall Street with the help of his therapist. Wanting to contribute, he went on to marry and to start a non-profit to help struggling families with obesity and addictiveness. He now has a "core sense of self".

The Cherokee Nation story, on another page, is about a Cherokee tribe, half living in poverty. The poorest had the greatest risk of emotional and behavioral problems, substance abuse, and other degenerative diseases of adulthood. Then, in 1999, the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians opened a casino whose profits went equally to its 8000 members, amounting to $9000 yearly by 2006. To gather evidence that poverty caused emotional problems, or the reverse, Professor Costello had begun already a study of 1,420 children, 1/4 of them Cherokees.

Cherokee children were found in 4 years to have  40% decline in behavioral problems, less substance abuse, fewer crimes, and higher graduation rates. Surprisingly , the youngest benefited the most; those already 14 or older had little change. An economist later figured that in 5 to 10 years after the age 19, the savings surpassed the costs of the Cherokee supplemental income.

So poverty as well as wealth can make people more insecure and unwell. Many studies show that income in excess of about $60,000 does not lead to measurably more "happiness".

Insecurity alone, as well as insecurity coupled with greed, robs us of a sense of self and self-worth.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Your Body - Your Emotions

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

We bathe in emotions from sun up to our dreams asleep. Our emotions reveal our relation to whatever we care about, all the time.

Emotion Location

Yet we don't talk so easily about our feelings - no matter that we are pushed and pulled by them all day long. Instead we say "I felt like slugging him", speaking of the action, not the emotion of anger. We speak of conclusions like "I'm going to watch another program" instead of our boredom. For some, emotions are not manly, and "toughness" is the virtue. For others, emotions are upsetting and irrational. Emotions? Fahgedaboudit!

It may be a cultural norm - let's talk about everything but feelings. Feelings are forever in the background, taken for granted, things you drag along in life, like wearing an old pair of pants. We put up with them, more than listen to them.

Yet when I ask, nearly everyone can say what they are feeling, the urge to act on it, the direction it gives, etc. All are affirmed when they listen to their inner guide. We trust our feelings.

Imagine my delight in coming across recent research (Numennmaa et al, 2013) that shows where in our body each or our emotions originate, consistently, faithfully. Over 700 people from Europe and East Asia showed in a computerized human form where their body was active for each of the emotions of fear, anger, etc. (See diagram) Damazio, the neuroscientist, commented that it confirmed his thinking that each emotion activates a distinct set of body parts, all of which helps us identify that emotion.

My question: why has it taken so long to establish such basic facts? Answer: the science's distrust of subjective report, the focus on neuroscience, the late recognition of the centrality of emotion.

Hopefully, there will be more research into the role of emotion in every psychological event. And more interest in my book, The Purpose of Emotion.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Peace for the Insecure

 

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

The emotion is insecurity, the feeling you can't take care of your basic needs. It teams up with the emotion of disgust, leading to the crushing of hope and self-esteem. Insecurity fuels the emotion of envy, firing the greed of the wealthy.

Basic needs

Can you see the effects of insecurity all over the world? We live in an explosive, disruptive time when, in almost any country you can name, there are demonstrations, protests and riots by the impoverished in the streets and offices of the wealthy. This protest is not just "the 1% and rest of us". Depending on the country, it can be the political elite and the disenfranchised, the bankers and the manipulated, the African despot and the ignored, the government insiders and the unheard, the ruling religion and the unworthy, the corporation and the outsourced workers. In other words, the moneyed and the poorest.

All have essentially the same protest: their work is not honored or rewarded by a fair, living wage.

Imagine the peaceful prospects if America were to lead the rest of the world by decreeing a minimum, livable wage for all of its citizens. This would increase health, educate and train more, reduce labor abuse, reduce excessive executive payroll, reduce welfare roles, and increase demand in the economy.  This example, and its benefits would be witnessed, sooner or later, by the whole world. This initiative and example by a world leader would invigorate equalitarian movements the world over.

Peace is not a passive state of detachment. It is a dynamic state when all our basic needs are met: for safety, food, shelter, and education, so that we are able to pursue what we love most. The emotion of insecurity is most stressful and demoralizing until it is satisfied with basic self-care.

Pie in the sky? Wherever there is the livable or highest minimum wage, that country is measurably more peaceful and happy (Wikipedia). Think Norway, Denmark, Australia, New Zealand, Sweden or Canada.

Better than drones in the sky! What do you think?

About Dr. Raynard

Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Greed - What are Toys For?

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Greed is like the frog who gets used to warming water and boils his life away.

I want it!

Greed begins with simple envy - I want what you have. Imagine you are a 3 year old, playing with another toddler. You enjoy beating your drum. But your playmate is squealing with delight shaking his tambourine. You think, "He's happier than me with his toy. I want it" and you grab it away. It doesn't bother that he is protesting or unhappy. You play with the tambourine a little then hide it away. You think, "What else does he have"? You have forgotten your own toy.

Soon, you are deluged by the media with toys, gadgets, and whistles that promise delirious excitement and pleasure, spending hours every day in envy. With your PC and cell come the next big thing in apps, games, adventures, the latest bling. Well-endowed friends rub it in. Along with envy comes the feeling of being left out, a sense of insecurity, the emotion of powerlessness. "More or bigger" seems to be the answer.

As a teen, as you form a sense of who you are, you may feel you are nothing at all without the right clothes, music, cell phone, events, travels, wheels, friends and followers. The American dream haunts you of "having it all". Fear and anger can be added to your envy and insecurity, if you feel you are not making it.

To your relief, you seem to find a way. The problem is, there is always someone who has more than you and raises envy to a pain. You may then get caught up in a way of life called greed, where you have forgotten how to play, and either store  your toys away, or display them for others to envy.

The bigger picture is a world of rich and poor, of tribal struggle, or corporate lords and impoverished workers, power-driven politicos and disempowered citizens, greedy dictators and the forgotten.

Yet, most toddlers learn to share, to try out toys, and return to the toys they like best. In time, they play what they most enjoy and learn the skills and sharing that goes with them. Further on, they learn what are their lasting satisfactions and gives most meaning in their lives. Rather than greed, they learn gratitude for all that life gives them.

It's always a good time to jump out the heating water and into you own kind of pool.

 About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Afraid of Happiness? Barf!

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Two recent studies (Joshanloo and Gilbert) claim to show that feeling good is what scares some people, as measured in 14 different cultures. These findings need clarification, before they go viral, or something worse.

First, the items of their test more accurately describe a "fear of being disappointed". Two of the items are, "My good feelings never last" and "If you feel good, you let your guard down".

Second, "Happiness" is never defined. This is surprising since the psych literature is rife with attempts to define happiness, from plainly sensual delights to lasting satisfactions.

Common sense tells you that if you try to be happy with bling or the latest thing, the satisfaction won't last long. The same for sheer thrills. The point is that in lumping all such satisfactions under Happiness, guarantees that many will distrust and fear quickly passing satisfactions, while doing no justice to the lasting ones.

My solution for my clients who want to clarify what makes them happy is my Personal Fulfillment Survey. I truly feel I don't know what motivates them until I tune into what they love and gives meaning to their lives.

Here is the major outline of the Personal Fulfillment Survey:

All kinds

• Thrills and impulses
• Sensual delights
• Simple pleasures
• Addictions
• Satisfying duties
• Basic needs
• Looking good
• Vital interests
• Enduring satisfactions
• What gives most meaning

So, kick up your heels, gaze out the window, take the time to reflect on your own experience, and see how you would survey your own world of happiness. I wish you the courage to do this, too.

At least you won't be prey to ideas like "afraid of happiness".  Any comment?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Emotions Co-Rule!

Unfeeling

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

We are incapable of making a decision and taking action on it without our emotions to energize and guide us. No? Listen to this:

Damazio, a leading neuroscientist,  (1994) reported his subject, "Elliot", had a non-malignant tumor removed from the prefrontal cortex area of his brain. In the process, some white cortical matter was moved from his right prefrontal cortex, the area that connects the upper, reasoning part of the brain with the lower emotional centers. That's all.

 

Damazio noticed that Elliot was unusually "calm and restrained" and showed no range of emotion. When Elliot returned to his work as a successful manager, he could not carry out the simplest tasks. He was able to communicate well, recall his work, form plans, but not carry out a single step, even to make a phone call. He got involved in repetitious tasks and readings. He couldn't do a task when expected and was fired. He continued to make bad decisions, lost all his money, remarried and redivorced, and drifted, impoverished.

Elliot performed at the superior level of intelligence on the IQ test. In several other tests, all his abilities were at least normal or above: immediate memory, language comprehension, facial perception, attention, working memory and even ethical, financial and social problem-solving. At the end of one session, Elliot commented "And after all this, I still wouldn't know what to do".

Damazio explains: neurologically, reason and emotion intersect in the prefrontal cortex and amygdala. These areas affect movement, emotion and attention. Damage causes "a virtual suspension of the animation of action and of thought process". He explains further that the modern, higher functions of the brain evolved out of the lower, emotional circuits, so that goodness and badness of situations is signaled to the higher centers. Those who lack the feeling of an emotion lack the energy and direction of the emotion. The feeling of an emotions combines an appraisal of the situation, a disposition to act in a certain way, and energy to do it.

Damazio is not alone; he cites four other sources.  Panksepp (2012) also documents the integration of emotion and thought in neurological terms and concludes that emotion is central to human behavior and psychiatric disorders. Scientists are slow to recognize that curiosity is a basic emotion, as well as a function of our cortex.

The mood of chronic boredom, lasting for months or longer, is seen as an absence of feeling and emotion. Those so lost in boredom also have an almost total incapacity to make decisions and act.

There you have it. What are your thoughts on the centrality of emotions to our lives?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

A Lump of Pain with Your Tea?

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

What did the Tea party get out of its government shutdown? When Obamacare was off the table, there was no other demand. Even after the reopening, Ted Cruz was smiling – for what?

Don’t call it crazy or wacky. Don’t surrender your understanding. Look at the emotion.

Joe Bageant (2007) can tell us where they are coming from. He is a journalist who, after 30 years, returned to his hometown in Appalachia to find his roots. He found things the same, but more run down: rickety bungalows, low-rent supermarkets, shabby churches, and secondhand trucks – a picture “painted by Edward Hopper”. Looking closer, he saw an ever-hardened, brutal life: mill and factory work, overtime if you’re lucky, rent until you die, Bud Light for consolation. Even closer, he saw his people “overweight, bad teeth, cheap clothing, and looking as though they’ve been shot at and missed”.

Deeper, Bageant saw disillusionment and life without much hope. Parents taught you to avoid education and expect disappointment. “Your dreams are bullshit; go get a job”.  Your strength is toughness and endurance, and lazy is the worst a person can be. He saw much anger and fear underneath, from the insults of employers and the elite. “It comes down to gumption” and doing without. Being given to weakens you and steals your strength. Fulfillment is a trick. A gift is not comprehensible.

Hoffer (1951) also saw the working poor, as a longshoreman. He felt the insecure and oppressed see themselves as unworthy and angry at the world. He saw the greater the disappointment in themselves, the greater the hatred. “Passionate hatred can give meaning to an empty life”. In the extreme, he felt that “a spoiled life” leads to joining extreme causes that promise redemption or joining a “brotherhood of the righteous”. The True Believer despises the “soft, selfish, pleasure-seeking” way. To Hoffer, their failure in everyday affairs makes them “take satisfaction in chaos”, as it ruins the satisfaction of others. To mask their failure, they deprecate the present, like to make believe, are naïve, and ready to attempt the impossible. Their doctrine give them power, not from making sense, but from certitude.

In emotional terms, having others feel your pain, your disillusionment, is a form of satisfaction. Schadenfreude, or pleasure from the misfortune of others, has been found associated with envy. So “now you know how we feel” not only gives comfort, but seems to be a form of justice.

Can you now imagine the satisfaction the Tea Party got in denying comfort, security, order, fulfillment to the rest of us? Are you smiling yet?

About Dr. Raynard Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broadrange of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety andphobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

America, the Bloatiful

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Americans have the least savings and greatest debt of any nation in world history.

We have the highest amount of imported manufactured or finished goods in history.
We lead the world in both the exportation of debt and basic commodities.
We have the largest cars, homes and waists of any developed nation.
We have the highest consumption of prescription drugs per capita in the world.
We have the highest rate and amount of incarceration and related expense.
We have the highest cost of health care in the world, along with least covered lives.
We have the largest amount of excess household goods in storage in the world.
We have the largest, most expensive military in the world, than all others together.
We have the largest percentage of single-parent families in the world.
We have the greatest gambling resources and gambling habit in the world..
We have the most expensive education system with some of the poorest results.
We have the most billionaires in the world, and greatest gap between rich and poor in history.
We work the longest hours, with least time off, of any developed country.

 We are a spectacular third world country, in both poverty and extreme wealth.

As much as the wealthy cannot count on educated, healthy workers, workers cannot count on the investment and resources of the rich.
In this financial crash, we see that extreme poverty impoverishes the rich, and that the extreme rich impoverishes the poor.

 Are we ready to grow up and mature as a nation and seek balance, rather than extremes?

A balance of regulation of all markets with free enterprise?

A balance of universal health insurance with cost savings and good care?
A balance of healthy life style with necessary medical intervention?
A balancing of critical thinking in education with preparation for a career?
A balance of incarceration with prevention and rehabilitation?
A balance of knowledge of others with knowledge of self?
A balance of basic material goods with personal fulfillment?
A balance of privacy needs with social needs and obligations?
A balance of national security with constitutional freedoms?
A balance of risk and profit in our financial instruments?
A balance between poverty and oppression and riches and greed?

 For our shared greed, who will show the way?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Face Train - no Face Book

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Look! There goes FaceTrain rushing by, with people waving, pictures against the window, people going to and from places, banners flying.  We smile or wave back and off they go.  Some are the familiar faces of family and friends, others are unfamiliar or very strange.  All goes by with a silent roar.

FaceTrain

Hardly a connection - more like being left behind.

Wait, it seems like there is a Depot where I can see more personal effects:  a little bio, other traces, but no one is ever there.  At the Depot, I can even find a Timeline of places someone has been to, even some anecdotes, like a travel log.  The train roars on.

I look to the rule book: how to make a connection, or what used to be called a relationship.  Can I get beyond a smile, a wave, a yell?  The rules tell me I can block out, I can follow, and even leave an address for the passengers to look up.  And many more clunky rules about how the train operates - switches, stops, transfers, seating tickets - you know, rules of the road. But where do you meet? The train roars on.

How do I get their attention? I want them to read a book I wrote. I find I need all sorts of pictures, placards, bumper stickers, slogans, billboards, and lures of all kinds, so that I can get their attention as they pass by. Then, if I get "in their face" often enough, some may buy it from the vendor's cart on the train.  Maybe.  The train roars on.

Will we have a conversation?  It's mostly a roll of the dice and life opportunities.  Maybe if I am there when the train stops, or they are there where I stop. It will take a lot to get them off the train.  The train roars on.

Meanwhile, I'll just stumble on besides the tracks.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Borderlines - the Emotional Hurricanes

by Richard C. Raynard,
Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist

A "borderline personality" is a person of emotional storms that go on exhaustively all day, driving away friends and loved ones. They feel empty and helpless in the face of overwhelming anger, hurt, jealousy, rejection and more. They don't have much of a sense of who they are. And they make up about 1 in every 50 adults. Whew!

Can they be trained to slow down, reflect and resolve their emotions? Dialectical Behavior Therapy has offered skills in mindfulness (reflection), acceptance of feelings, and interpersonal effectiveness, say, in asserting yourself.

Flooded with Emotions

More can be done, according to The Purpose of Emotions, my Ebook on how to fulfill emotions rather than have them run your life. It not only redirects anger into useful assertiveness, it redirects all 14 basic emotions into fulfillment. Here are some examples, in very brief outline:


 Emotion     Relation                Purpose                 Outcome

 Fear           Threatened             Face up to threat    Freedom
 Helpless     Neglect of self        Self-care                 Self-esteem
 Sadness      Loss of love/hope   Take stock              Renewal

This is how a focus of emotions and their uniquely human purpose can be a direct, intuitive means for a person to change their self-defeating ways and create a solid sense of Self.

This is only a thumbnail sketch. You can find much more in the Ebooks on each emotion and in The Purpose of Emotions. Where I and others have used the emotional fulfillment approach, we have seen gratifying turnarounds.

More to come...

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Curiosity - When Children Used to Play

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

A lifetime ago, children in grade school played, explored, invented games and entertained themselves with no electronic media or adult push.

What next?

There were 3 recess periods: mid-morning, noontime lunch, and early afternoon. Schoolyard games were passed on for generations by the children themselves, some dating back centuries.

Everyone played Hide-and-Seek, Dodge Ball, Keep Away, Kick the Can, Ringo-Leary, Red Light and Red Rover, some games lasting for weeks. Younger kids played on the school sets: Swings, Teeters, Slides, Tetherball and Ladders. Girls had many involved games like Jacks, Skip Rope, Hopscotch, London Bridge, all with involved lyrics and chants. Boys gravitated towards Shootout Marbles, Aggies, Races, Knights on Horseback, Frisbee, Baseball balancing and daring games.

After school, the games went on outside "till the street lights come on", or new games took over like biking, hiking exploring, fishing, boating etc.

Adults helped a bit, mostly in class. Singing was usually three times a week, using the Golden Book of folk songs from all over the world, sometimes with a rhythm band or improvised instruments. Cantatas and other musical recitals were 2-3 times a year, directed by a music teacher. The arts were taught 1-2 times a week,  in water color, charcoal, crayon, silhouettes, etc. All this, in addition to the usual school subjects.

These childhood games were killed by two working parents, TV, fear of the drug scene and predators, the Media, No Child Left Behind, and video games.  A centuries-old children's game culture has been wiped out, like the American Indians.

Now extra-school activities are highly structured, expensive, parented and pressured. School itself is grim. No recess, no gym, no noon break, no in-class lunch. No FUN. Kids are rarely seen to playing the yard or streets, or even in playgrounds and parks. A trash culture roars out of TV, snaring children in envy, loneliness, need for distraction, display, attention-seeking and false maturity.

Play grows your curiosity and interests, gives you skill and confidence, prepares you both to participate and lead, and rehearses what you will love as an adult. It will take a determined effort to overcome the machine of corporate pandering, the media lure, and the made-in-Madison Avenue youth culture.

Still play can happen anytime we show our children these games, join in the fun, and turn them loose on their own.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Insecurity - The Conspiracy Trap

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Why buy into conspiracy theories?  It's the emotion of insecurity, the feeling of being ineffective and unable to take care of yourself. Powerlessness is a powerful emotion.

Insecure

The evidence is that conspiracy believers are more persuasive to those with low-self-worth and powerlessness (Swami et al, 2010).

The emotion of insecurity can team up with the frustration of anger and create cynicism.  "Nothing will work; the forces are against you". In this way the believer tries to understand why the insecurity feelings exist.

Why do insecurity feelings arise in the first place? Young and Klasko (1993) show it can be learned at home at an early age when a child is made to feel helpless or a failure. Hoffer (1953) felt that those raised in poverty and ignorance make for an especially vulnerable, insecure young adult whose life feels ineffective, or "spoiled".

Sadly. the internet supports the natural tendency to look for evidence to support what you believe. And efforts to debunk the conspiracy belief are taken to be part of the conspiracy. See the "backfire effect" of Nyham & Reiffer (2006).

A circular path develops. The believer in conspiracy theories comes to feel less in control, and this insecurity helps keep the belief alive and well. A dead end, it there ever was one.

The corporate plutocracy is a well-developed conspiracy right out in the open. Wouldn't that satisfy most conspiracy theorists?

About Dr. Raynard

Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

On the Road with Panic

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.

Why would anyone drive in the gutter and blow out 4 sets of tires in a year? Or an accountant have to draw a map and take a picture of every new town he drove into? Or an oil truck driver chain himself to his steering wheel? Or a grandmother smuggle a miniature poodle within the large sleeves of her coat when she traveled by air?

It's PANIC - that overwhelming uproar in the body of heart racing, faint, nauseous, dizzy, choking, weak and more. It is the most common emotional disorder and the most hidden at the same time. And one study found that driving phobia was the most common of all phobias!

The explanation: the sensitivities of most phobics can be found in traffic, where you have crowding, no exits, being far from home, in unfamiliar places, high noise levels, being alone,  and no one to help you.

Most phobics don't get much credence and cover up after getting little sympathy. "It's just anxiety, get over it,"  My survey of over 100 phobic clients showed the average time to seek psychological help from the first panic episode was 9 1/2 years!

Helen (pseudo) saw that driving as close to granite curbs and picking up glass, metal and all kinds of trash made no sense. But she felt rushed, crowded and not in control. She realized a blowout put her in worse trouble than before.

Progress was measured in inches as Helen gradually practiced more distance from the curb plus relaxation methods and worry control. Her very first practice was in an empty lot, learning to judge curbside distance, her husband following and encouraging.  In a few weeks, using exposure therapy, she was driving normally with little concern.

One last irony: though very common and untreated, it is a well known condition and very treatable!

Get the word out, will you?

Licensed Clinical Psychologist
About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Boredom - a Lack of Emotion!

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Boredom is painful. It's waking up and seeing nothing of yourself in the day and going to sleep later realizing that tomorrow will be the same - empty. It can happen to the nicest people.

Confusion abounds over the cause of boredom. The researcher, Danchert, argues in Mind (2013) that boredom is an attention disorder: a lack of discrimination between novel and familiar. Possible solution: train the bored to recognize when an event is novel. Sorry - the lack of discrimination describes the result of boredom, not the cause.

Only recently has boredom become a widely recognized social fact. In Medieval times it was called the sin of sloth. The early French called it nonchalance or languor. In 18th century England, the leisure class struggled with vacuity, tedium, listlessness and insipidity. In the early 19th century it was finally called "boredom", along with rise of factory labor. Interesting.

Bored

Still, the evidence is accumulating in recent studies. Boredom is more likely among the young, the more extraverted and more intelligent. The more prone to boredom have frustrated needs and high activation levels. The very bored can be reckless sensation-seekers, who try to escape boredom in risky ventures. Krasko (2004) sees a major cause in degraded, factory-like education in which students see nothing of themselves. Some are more bored in their leisure time than at work or school. One researcher noted that the bored have little self-focus and cannot "access and understand their emotions" (Eastwood et al, 2007).

To me, boredom is the lack of desire or emotional contact with what you care about. If you can listen to yourself, open your heart to what you care about, and go after what is most meaningful to you, then you can be illuminated and fulfilled.

What a mouthful! To get in touch with what you love and care about is an awesome, immense undertaking. I am humble before that task. But a few have written about how to get there.  Look up the works of Sher, Frankl, Wertheimer, Bingamen, and others.

They are some of the pioneers of boredom.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.