An Oscar for the Parenting Channel

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist



Caring

President Obama just announced the "My Brother's Keeper" program and  white house task force to look into help for parents.

A huge territory.  Parenting is as different, from family to family, as different countries. Each family raises real differences in their children in happiness, competence, and personal fulfillment.

The evidence is in. If you have been raised in neglect, as an adult you may have cold relations, seething anger, and disillusionment. If your parents were very critical and punitive, you may grow up to feel defective and burdened with shame. If you were always pushed and compared to others, you could grow up with failure on you mind, or even become perfectionistic, to compensate. If you had to be responsible for the care of your brother, sister, or even a parent, you can become self-sacrificing as an adult, an "enabler", with anger underneath. For more, see Young & Klasko (1994).

Yet good parenting is never taught in schools or the media. We are more apt to see weird, dysfunctional families in the serials or in programing, like Wife Swap, etc. The raising of children doesn't make the news. A common path is to raise our children as we were raised. In any case, new parents are mostly on their own.

Think of the odds. Now, 50% or more newborn are to unmarried mothers, often in teenage years. Families themselves have become more scattered; neighborhoods are less like communities; families often have both parents working. You can fill in the rest.

I propose a publicly owned Parenting Channel that would reach everyone, at small relative cost, when they need it. The content should be public-driven, not sponsor-driven, and determined by a board of media professionals and citizens. The production values should have the intrinsically interesting features of todays best TV - personal stories, dramatic series, on-site documentaries, relevant biography, graphic design, breaking news, discussion panels, and more. Never boring. This programming is supplemented by links to developed websites and streamed on line. Commercials are limited to a 5 minute segment at hour's end.

 

The cost? My guess is about $60 million a year. PBS's budget was $200 million in 2012; staff costs about $3 million. About the cost of two fighter jets.

No kidding. The airwaves belong to the public, leased through its agencies and representatives to determine the content of most benefit to the public. Why should TV remain the most irrelevant and pernicious media? The benefit of the Parenting Channel is incalculable and positive. By every measure - good health, less violence, graduation rates, adult income, drug addiction - good parenting works.

Are you ready to tune in?

About Dr. Raynard

Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

When Childen Used to Play

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

A lifetime ago, children in grade school played, explored, invented games, and entertained themselves with no electronic media or adult push.


Girls playing Clap Hands



There were 3 recess periods: mid-morning, noontime lunch, and early afternoon. School yard games were passed on for generatios by the children themselves, some games dating back centuries.

Everyone played Hide-and-Seek, Dodge Ball, Keep Away, Kick the Can, Ringo-Leary, Red Light and Red Rover, some games lasting for weeks.  Younger kids played on school sets: Swings, Teeters, Slides, Tetherball and Ladders. Girls had many involved games, like Jacks, Skip Rope, Hopscotch, London Bridge, all accompanied with involved lyrics and chants. Boys gravitated towards Shootout Marbles, Aggies, Races, Knights on Horseback, Frisbee, Baseball, balancing and daring games.

After school, the games continued on outside "till the street lights came on", or when new games took over, like biking, hiking, exploring vacant houses, fishing boating, etc.

Adults helped a bit, mostly in class. Outdoors, rarely, with baseball or volleyball. Singing in class was usually 3 times a week, using the Golden Book of folk songs from all over the world, sometimes with a rhythm band or improvised instruments. Cantatas and other recitals were held 2 or 3 times a years, directed by special music teacher. The arts were taught 1 or 2 tiimes a week, in water color, charcoal, crayon, silouettes, etc. All this, in addition to the usual school subjects.

Outdoor childhood games were killed by two working parents, TV, fear of the drug scene and predators, the media, No Child Left Behind, and video games. A centuries-old children's game culture was wiped out, like the American Indians. Extra-school activities are now highly structured, expensive, parented and pressured. School itsefl is grim, No recess, no gym, no noon break, no in-class lunch, little art or music. No FUN.  Kids now are rarely seen to play in the yards, streets, or woods, or even in playgrounds and parks. A trash culture roars out of TV, ensnaring childen in envy, distraction, loneliness, eye candy, video games and false maturity and fashion.

Play grows your curiosity and interests. Play gives you skill and confidence, prepares you to both participate and lead, and rehearses what you will love as an adult.

It will take a determined offort to overcome the machine of corporate pandering, the media lure, and the made-in-Madison Avenue youth culture. Still, play can happen anytime we show our childen these games, join in the fun, and turn them loose on their own.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling a life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.