Emotions Give Us Choices - Ready or Not

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Even from the first onset of an emotion, e.g. anger, we have the power to choose how the emotion will turn out, whether locked in a rigid mood (Bitterness) or transformed into positive energy (Fulfillment). Anger, by itself, does not impel us to do any one thing, because, unlike all other animal life, we have the ability to reflect and choose.  The choices of an animal are immediate, non-reflective, stimulus-bound, and instinctive - not a choice at all.


Woman on Phone
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It is also true that you can, by choice, not see choices at all.  One current, somewhat popular way to express freedom is to act impulsively in a determined way, and avoid the responsibility that goes with choice. The end-state is often thrill-seeking, addictiveness, crime, conflict, a poverty of interests and troubles of every kind. Many are adept at inventing reasons for all the bad fortune in life that results from this: a poor boss, lousy weather, lack of money, a bad mood, and much more.

In perhaps no other realm of mind are there such extreme consequences of your choices than in emotional expression and action.  Emotions are nearly pure energy that will not stay still, just as a fire can consume or serve you.  Emotions compel action that will have their way whether we pay attention to them or not.  And if they are not fulfilled, they will not just go away.  In the case of anger, the same emotion that can make us blame, accuse, collect injustices,and nurse resentment or bloody vengeance is the same emotion that fills an authentic need, with high satisfaction.

It is beguiling that many of our choices in life seem ready-made.  friends, clothes, lifestyle, home, car and other things seem natural choices.  It may be a bit harder to realize we choose our values, beliefs, and even our attitudes.  Emotions are that much murkier"  they can seem to come with no choice at all, whether we go by our gut feelings or deal with them conventionally.  Then again, emotions can be so upsetting that we wish we could be a "rock", glad to be rid of them, especially the "negative" emotions, and avoid choice altogether. 

Yet choice gives us freedom and fulfillment. Just as anger can lead to fulfilling a need, so fear mastered leads to freedom, sadness to renewal, hurt to reconciliation, disgust to respect. All the pages of this blog, my Ebooks and other writings deal with this choice.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, I have spent the last 35 years fulfilling my life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

What Emotional Fulfillment Can Do For You

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Emotions just happen all the time, as part of our human nature. It's possible to have feelings about anything. They are a form of pure energy that can persist, remarkably, over a lifetime. there is usually characteristic triggering event for each emotion with an immediate impulse to act in a certain way. Emotions tell us quickly our position towards this event, generally whether it is beneficial or not. Emotions are unusually persistent and do not have to be conscious to affect our thoughts, decisions and actions.


Photo Credit: womansforum.com


We are anatomically wired for emotions through ANS pathways, brain anatomy, neuropeptides, and the instinctual system. Each primary emotion can be sensed and labeled reliably by individuals. Each emotion often blends with other emotions, and we can even have emotions about emotions!

The benefit or cost of an emotion to us depends on how we act on it. Emotions not handled well become stress, which brings less energy, more upset, and less capacity to respond positively. Over time, if emotions are not integrated into our life, they become trapped in rigid moods. Moods involve emotions in a tangle of thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and action tendencies, a stuck way of looking at the world that does not allow completion of the feeling. The instinctive path of handling emotions leads to defensiveness and ultimately to rigid, stuck moods.

On the other hand, the reflective, distinctly human path of handling emotions allows their acceptance, integration and ultimate fulfillment. Fulfillment of any emotion means its purpose has been filled, the emotion completed, and its disappearance. Emotional freedom is a sense of having relatively few unfulfilled emotional claims. All emotions originate with our loves and attachments, and our happiness is their fulfillment through constant contact, skill, and dedication. The result is a sense of peacefulness - a dynamic process of regular, dependable fulfillment of our emotional life.

This series of articles will be all about how to can bring emotional fulfillment into every area of your life.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, I have spent the last 35 years fulfilling my life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.