Greed - What are Toys For?

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Greed is like the frog who gets used to warming water and boils his life away.

I want it!

Greed begins with simple envy - I want what you have. Imagine you are a 3 year old, playing with another toddler. You enjoy beating your drum. But your playmate is squealing with delight shaking his tambourine. You think, "He's happier than me with his toy. I want it" and you grab it away. It doesn't bother that he is protesting or unhappy. You play with the tambourine a little then hide it away. You think, "What else does he have"? You have forgotten your own toy.

Soon, you are deluged by the media with toys, gadgets, and whistles that promise delirious excitement and pleasure, spending hours every day in envy. With your PC and cell come the next big thing in apps, games, adventures, the latest bling. Well-endowed friends rub it in. Along with envy comes the feeling of being left out, a sense of insecurity, the emotion of powerlessness. "More or bigger" seems to be the answer.

As a teen, as you form a sense of who you are, you may feel you are nothing at all without the right clothes, music, cell phone, events, travels, wheels, friends and followers. The American dream haunts you of "having it all". Fear and anger can be added to your envy and insecurity, if you feel you are not making it.

To your relief, you seem to find a way. The problem is, there is always someone who has more than you and raises envy to a pain. You may then get caught up in a way of life called greed, where you have forgotten how to play, and either store  your toys away, or display them for others to envy.

The bigger picture is a world of rich and poor, of tribal struggle, or corporate lords and impoverished workers, power-driven politicos and disempowered citizens, greedy dictators and the forgotten.

Yet, most toddlers learn to share, to try out toys, and return to the toys they like best. In time, they play what they most enjoy and learn the skills and sharing that goes with them. Further on, they learn what are their lasting satisfactions and gives most meaning in their lives. Rather than greed, they learn gratitude for all that life gives them.

It's always a good time to jump out the heating water and into you own kind of pool.

 About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Afraid of Happiness? Barf!

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Two recent studies (Joshanloo and Gilbert) claim to show that feeling good is what scares some people, as measured in 14 different cultures. These findings need clarification, before they go viral, or something worse.

First, the items of their test more accurately describe a "fear of being disappointed". Two of the items are, "My good feelings never last" and "If you feel good, you let your guard down".

Second, "Happiness" is never defined. This is surprising since the psych literature is rife with attempts to define happiness, from plainly sensual delights to lasting satisfactions.

Common sense tells you that if you try to be happy with bling or the latest thing, the satisfaction won't last long. The same for sheer thrills. The point is that in lumping all such satisfactions under Happiness, guarantees that many will distrust and fear quickly passing satisfactions, while doing no justice to the lasting ones.

My solution for my clients who want to clarify what makes them happy is my Personal Fulfillment Survey. I truly feel I don't know what motivates them until I tune into what they love and gives meaning to their lives.

Here is the major outline of the Personal Fulfillment Survey:

All kinds

• Thrills and impulses
• Sensual delights
• Simple pleasures
• Addictions
• Satisfying duties
• Basic needs
• Looking good
• Vital interests
• Enduring satisfactions
• What gives most meaning

So, kick up your heels, gaze out the window, take the time to reflect on your own experience, and see how you would survey your own world of happiness. I wish you the courage to do this, too.

At least you won't be prey to ideas like "afraid of happiness".  Any comment?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Emotions Co-Rule!

Unfeeling

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

We are incapable of making a decision and taking action on it without our emotions to energize and guide us. No? Listen to this:

Damazio, a leading neuroscientist,  (1994) reported his subject, "Elliot", had a non-malignant tumor removed from the prefrontal cortex area of his brain. In the process, some white cortical matter was moved from his right prefrontal cortex, the area that connects the upper, reasoning part of the brain with the lower emotional centers. That's all.

 

Damazio noticed that Elliot was unusually "calm and restrained" and showed no range of emotion. When Elliot returned to his work as a successful manager, he could not carry out the simplest tasks. He was able to communicate well, recall his work, form plans, but not carry out a single step, even to make a phone call. He got involved in repetitious tasks and readings. He couldn't do a task when expected and was fired. He continued to make bad decisions, lost all his money, remarried and redivorced, and drifted, impoverished.

Elliot performed at the superior level of intelligence on the IQ test. In several other tests, all his abilities were at least normal or above: immediate memory, language comprehension, facial perception, attention, working memory and even ethical, financial and social problem-solving. At the end of one session, Elliot commented "And after all this, I still wouldn't know what to do".

Damazio explains: neurologically, reason and emotion intersect in the prefrontal cortex and amygdala. These areas affect movement, emotion and attention. Damage causes "a virtual suspension of the animation of action and of thought process". He explains further that the modern, higher functions of the brain evolved out of the lower, emotional circuits, so that goodness and badness of situations is signaled to the higher centers. Those who lack the feeling of an emotion lack the energy and direction of the emotion. The feeling of an emotions combines an appraisal of the situation, a disposition to act in a certain way, and energy to do it.

Damazio is not alone; he cites four other sources.  Panksepp (2012) also documents the integration of emotion and thought in neurological terms and concludes that emotion is central to human behavior and psychiatric disorders. Scientists are slow to recognize that curiosity is a basic emotion, as well as a function of our cortex.

The mood of chronic boredom, lasting for months or longer, is seen as an absence of feeling and emotion. Those so lost in boredom also have an almost total incapacity to make decisions and act.

There you have it. What are your thoughts on the centrality of emotions to our lives?

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.