Borderlines - the Emotional Hurricanes

by Richard C. Raynard,
Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist

A "borderline personality" is a person of emotional storms that go on exhaustively all day, driving away friends and loved ones. They feel empty and helpless in the face of overwhelming anger, hurt, jealousy, rejection and more. They don't have much of a sense of who they are. And they make up about 1 in every 50 adults. Whew!

Can they be trained to slow down, reflect and resolve their emotions? Dialectical Behavior Therapy has offered skills in mindfulness (reflection), acceptance of feelings, and interpersonal effectiveness, say, in asserting yourself.

Flooded with Emotions

More can be done, according to The Purpose of Emotions, my Ebook on how to fulfill emotions rather than have them run your life. It not only redirects anger into useful assertiveness, it redirects all 14 basic emotions into fulfillment. Here are some examples, in very brief outline:


 Emotion     Relation                Purpose                 Outcome

 Fear           Threatened             Face up to threat    Freedom
 Helpless     Neglect of self        Self-care                 Self-esteem
 Sadness      Loss of love/hope   Take stock              Renewal

This is how a focus of emotions and their uniquely human purpose can be a direct, intuitive means for a person to change their self-defeating ways and create a solid sense of Self.

This is only a thumbnail sketch. You can find much more in the Ebooks on each emotion and in The Purpose of Emotions. Where I and others have used the emotional fulfillment approach, we have seen gratifying turnarounds.

More to come...

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.

Curiosity - When Children Used to Play

by Richard C. Raynard, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

A lifetime ago, children in grade school played, explored, invented games and entertained themselves with no electronic media or adult push.

What next?

There were 3 recess periods: mid-morning, noontime lunch, and early afternoon. Schoolyard games were passed on for generations by the children themselves, some dating back centuries.

Everyone played Hide-and-Seek, Dodge Ball, Keep Away, Kick the Can, Ringo-Leary, Red Light and Red Rover, some games lasting for weeks. Younger kids played on the school sets: Swings, Teeters, Slides, Tetherball and Ladders. Girls had many involved games like Jacks, Skip Rope, Hopscotch, London Bridge, all with involved lyrics and chants. Boys gravitated towards Shootout Marbles, Aggies, Races, Knights on Horseback, Frisbee, Baseball balancing and daring games.

After school, the games went on outside "till the street lights come on", or new games took over like biking, hiking exploring, fishing, boating etc.

Adults helped a bit, mostly in class. Singing was usually three times a week, using the Golden Book of folk songs from all over the world, sometimes with a rhythm band or improvised instruments. Cantatas and other musical recitals were 2-3 times a year, directed by a music teacher. The arts were taught 1-2 times a week,  in water color, charcoal, crayon, silhouettes, etc. All this, in addition to the usual school subjects.

These childhood games were killed by two working parents, TV, fear of the drug scene and predators, the Media, No Child Left Behind, and video games.  A centuries-old children's game culture has been wiped out, like the American Indians.

Now extra-school activities are highly structured, expensive, parented and pressured. School itself is grim. No recess, no gym, no noon break, no in-class lunch. No FUN. Kids are rarely seen to playing the yard or streets, or even in playgrounds and parks. A trash culture roars out of TV, snaring children in envy, loneliness, need for distraction, display, attention-seeking and false maturity.

Play grows your curiosity and interests, gives you skill and confidence, prepares you both to participate and lead, and rehearses what you will love as an adult. It will take a determined effort to overcome the machine of corporate pandering, the media lure, and the made-in-Madison Avenue youth culture.

Still play can happen anytime we show our children these games, join in the fun, and turn them loose on their own.

About Dr. Raynard
Dr. Richard Raynard is a licensed clinical psychologist with 35 years experience resolving a broad range of emotional problems. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist who has specialized in anxiety and phobic disorders since 1980, he has spent the last 35 years fulfilling his life-long desire to explore and define the true purpose of emotions and how people can easily use emotions to create meaning and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Raynard's series of books on emotions can be found on Amazon.com. His other books include Don't Panic, and Anxiety & Panic Medications.